Certainties and Uncertainties

It’s been a strange month. There’s been movement on some fronts, none on others, and new uncertainties in others. That’s the way things go, I guess.

There’s some good news to share, I think. As of this moment, my band, tentatively named The Pineapple Brigade, is active. Yesterday, we auditioned a female singer who turned out to add that missing element to our songs. I think she was amazing, as did the rest of the band. In fact, I knew within ten seconds of hearing her sing my song, Frozen Summer, that I wanted her in the band. What she did to that song was something I hadn’t expected, but that was stunning all the same. So we’re now set as a five-piece. It’s kind of exciting to think that, after all this work and all these frustrating attempts to find like-minded musicians in the area, I’ve finally put together the right people for this musical project.

The next step is to think of a new band name. The five of us agreed that the project has outgrown the Pineapple Brigade name, and so we want something that’s more reflective of the indie rock, diversified nature of our music. So there’s that, and nailing down the next half of our ten-song set list. We’ve got plenty of original songs to choose from, we just need to decide which we’ll be concentrating on for now. I’m also calling for us to record a three-song demo next month. I can’t wait for that. I can’t wait to hear these songs sound like they were meant to.

So that’s one thing that’s moving along. Another is Electing Choi, my sequel to Inventing Vazquez. After several bouts of writer’s block, I’ve gotten back on track with that. Currently, I’m on page 80 of the first draft, which isn’t too bad. I think 100 pages will be a cool first milestone.

Nothing so far on the literary agent search for Inventing Vazquez. It’s still a waiting game, but the most frustrating part is not even knowing how many of my applications are even still in play. I’ve already received three rejections, but my others are still unanswered. I don’t know if this means I’m being considered, or they haven’t even read it, or if they read it, tossed it, and aren’t going to tell me. I know I have to be patient, but it’s a difficult process, especially for someone like me, who loves to get things done now, now, and now.

Things have been less than great on other fronts. At work, the mounting frustrations of my job have really taken their toll, to the point where I find myself thinking of alternative employment options just to preserve my sanity and my health. And things at home have suddenly become uncertain, and who knows where things will end up. Suffice it to say, these are difficult times, and I hope the universe will help me achieve some clarity of mind so that I can get through them in one piece.

For now, at least, I’ve got enough creative projects to keep me preoccupied and moving forward. That’s the nice thing about music and writing. When you write—be it a song or a story—you’re in complete control. It’s all yours. And no one—not a co-worker, not a boss, not someone with a title higher up on the pecking order than yours—can tell you not to write what you want. It’s a great, liberating feeling to be able to compose a song or write a story, so I encourage anyone who’s having similar crises at work or at home to embrace whatever creative capacity they have. It really can make all the difference.

Cheers.

Searching for a Literary Agent

A fairly unambiguous title, huh?

At long last, my new novel, Inventing Vazquez, is finished. This latest rewrite is what I’m calling the agent-ready draft, one that I’m confident will properly represent the work and my capabilities as a writer to prospective agents. Can I hear a “woohoo”? ^_^

It was quite a ride getting here. I started this project in early 2007, right around the time I was scrambling to get Solstice ready for its publication. Because of all the ideas I had for Inventing Vazquez, I finished the first draft before the end of that year. Last year, I completed the next two rewrites. And now this year, I’ve gotten the novel to the point where I’m confident about sending it out for representation.

I think the most challenging part of this last rewrite was not just making the story tighter and funnier, but cutting it down as well. I’m happy to report that I’ve shaved off nearly 80 single-spaced pages, which should help the story flow smoother and quicker. It’s still a very long book (about 270,000 words ^^), but hopefully it’ll be a fun read given its zany, satirical nature. And boy, has it gotten progressively zanier with each draft! In this last draft, I’ve introduced a matchmaking dog named Preci who tries to hook her owner up with suitable mates, but always does something inappropriate (e.g., poops at their feet) to drive them away.

So far, my three test readers have given the book thumbs up. My good friend Pam, who actually read an earlier draft, liked it a lot, and my girlfriend (I know, hardly the most objective test reader, but she can be brutally honest when she needs to be) loved it. So there’s hope.

So anyway, the literary agent search is now on in earnest. In fact, a couple of weeks ago, I sent out the first five queries, including one to the agent I’m crossing all my fingers accepts me ^^; Almost immediately, I got two rejection form letters (wow, that was quick), but the other three seem to still be in the “Reject Later” pile as opposed to the “REJECT NOW!!!” pile ^^;

It’s funny. I personally think searching for a literary agent is the hardest part of this entire process. Yes, even harder than writing and rewriting the actual book! Why? Because you have to present yourself nearly perfectly. You’ve got no room for error. You have to write, rewrite, rewrite, rewrite, edit, scrap, restart, rewrite, rewrite, edit, pull hair, get drunk, rewrite, cry bitterly, and rewrite your query letter, synopsis, and all that other good stuff agents demand. You have to obsessively comb every line of text for errors and grammar. You have to somehow pitch your book (all 270,000 words of it) within the space of one page. You have to differentiate yourself somehow from the other 4,194,092 writers mailing query letters that same day. And you have to do it all knowing that most agents are going to respond with an impersonal form letter telling you, “Sorry, no thanks” without giving you one clue as to why.

I think that’s the most frustrating thing about this process. For all the effort you have to put into a search, you’re seldom told why you’re being rejected. Of course, I’m not criticizing literary agents for this, because the volume of correspondence they receive makes it impractical for them to individually address every rejection letter. But it does make it hard for you to know what you’re doing wrong. Is it that they didn’t like your writing? Is it just not their cup of tea? Did your query letter suck? Or did they just not like the name of your character? For the most part, you’re in the dark about why you’re being rejected, so it’s very difficult to know what to improve for the next round of queries.

But oh well, I’m going to give it my all and try to land an agent. And I’m a lot more confident about Inventing Vazquez: I really think it’ll offer an agent and a publisher something special. Oh wow, listen to me, egomaniac that I’ve become! ^^;

So what’s next? As usual, I’m going to take some time off from Inventing Vazquez before I start tinkering with it again (it’s true what they say, every work is always a work in progress). I’ll probably start up again on its sequel, Electing Choi, next week (I’m four chapters in as of now). However, because of all the ideas that are starting to build up for another story, I might try writing two books at once. My other project, tentatively titled Suicide Girls, might be my ‘nighttime’ project (i.e., the kind of project I’ll be more inspired to work on during the night, given its darker nature). We’ll see. Regardless, I’m excited to start working on a new project. Almost as excited as I am to finally say Inventing Vazquez is ready ^_^

Musically, things continue to take form. My band, The Pineapple Brigade, is starting to look like one. My fellow guitarist and I recently hooked up with a great drummer, and so now we just need a bassist and a female singer. So far, the three of us seem to have really good chemistry and compatibility, and we’re all on the same page musically. So who knows, maybe this summer, we’ll actually be able to gig. That’s my hope, anyway.

Of course, if given the choice between landing an agent or a summer gig, I wonder which I’d go with? ^^;

So please wish me luck in finding a good literary agent! I’m going to need it @_@

New Year, New Goals, and a Little WOOHOO Thrown In

Happy 2009, everyone.

So, it’s a new year. And while I’m not one to make resolutions, I always like to re-affirm my long-term goals and strategies at the start of every year. Like last year, my only real goal was to finish Inventing Vazquez. Which I did. Kind of. I finished the third draft, at least.

This year, my goal will be to complete the book in earnest, and land an agent. And while I was busy thinking in December that I’d be sending out queries this month, I decided to not be so hasty. I’m working on the next round of edits right now, with the goal of not just cleaning up the writing and adding a small wrinkle or two, but of shortening the novel. Because it’s a bit too long, maybe long enough to scare off an agent.

So far, with the first five chapters I’ve edited, I’ve succeeded in knocking off a page per chapter. So if I can do that all throughout, and there are 65 chapters, that’s at least 65 pages I’ll streamline from the final draft.

My plan, though, is to make the most efficient use of my time. Because it can take so long to hear back from an agent, I think I’ll work on getting the first half of the book done, right and proper. Once that first half is done, I’ll send out the query packages, and then get to work on the second half. The hope is that, by the time an agent (hopefully) requests to see the entire manuscript, I’ll have it ready to go. That’s the hope, anyway.

But because I don’t want to take forever, this time I’m setting a very concrete deadline: I want to have the entire novel finalized by the end of March. It’ll be tight, but doable. I think that, while setting artificial deadlines can be counterproductive, in some cases they can give you the right kind of urgency. And urgency is definitely something I feel right now, in terms of getting Inventing Vazquez moving from manuscript to published work. I’m very enthused and confident about this book, and I really want to get it out there. Somehow, I think it’ll have some good things to say, and I think it’ll make people laugh a lot. I hope so, anyway ^_^;

So that’s the deal with Inventing Vazquez. Its sequel, Electing Choi, is now on hold, since I’m trying to punch out at least one chapter of edits per day, but really aiming for two. Next month, I’ll also have to start working more seriously on the query letter, synopsis, and other such agent-related goodies.

So yeah, Electing Choi is going to have to wait. One thing that won’t have to wait, though, is Liliana’s new character design ^_^ For Electing Choi, since Liliana’s character is now older, more mature, and a lot more spunky and confident, I figured she’d need a makeover from her character design from Inventing Vazquez. And so, I thought she’d need to have shorter hair, something more whimsical and playful. And my brother, ever the artist, made a chibi rendition of Liliana in her old and new incarnations:

Isn’t it adorable?! And yes, in both novels, Liliana is in a band, although she’s never the bassist (at least, I don’t think she’ll be). Like I said, this is a chibi style drawing (a Japanese Anime-style super-deformed animation), but I thought it was adorable. So, thanks, Arturo! ^_^

Speaking of bands, The Pineapple Brigade project is definitely picking up steam. The guitarist I’ve been working with (let us call him Gene for now) and I are clicking very well. So much so, we essentially laid down the foundation for an improved version of one of my songs, Frozen Summer. He’s a natural guitarist, and a very good one, and he was able to add a lead guitar track that gave the song a whole new dimension. Plus, in one of the song’s breakdowns, he improvised some backing vocal arrangements, and I was blown away at how well they worked. I was geeked, to say the absolute least.

Even more geeked about something very unexpected. I’ve always said I’m primarily a bassist. But this past practice, I took my electric guitar down to the basement, figuring I could use it to more easily show Gene the guitar notes for some of my songs. I ended up playing rhythm guitar for the entire practice. By the end of it, Gene makes a startling declaration: he thinks that, instead of playing bass in the band, I should play rhythm/lead guitar. Because what I was doing wasn’t only good enough, but it was essentially lead guitar work.

I was stunned, because while I always wanted to play guitar in a band (it’s more fun, I think, and more conducive for my onstage freestyle maniac style of play), I never thought I was good enough. A proven guitarist thinks I am. That’s good enough for me ^^;

So here I am, switching gears musically. I was planning on buying a better bass amp to start off the year, but now I’m researching new guitars, looking for one to call my own. The one I’m currently using is a loaner, a Fender strat, and I think I’ll stick with a Fender, maybe another Stratocaster, depending on what I can afford. I’m pretty excited about it.

Hopefully, Gene and I can soon find a female bassist in the Detroit area who likes punk pop, and then we’d really have the start of something very special. Because it’s part of my whole band dream thingy: to have a female musician who does backing/lead vocals, and give the band a male-female vocal dynamic. Kind of like what Kim Deal did with The Pixies, and Jeannie Lee did for Dirt Bike Annie. I think both those women added so much to those bands.

I guess, between Inventing Vazquez and The Pineapple Brigade, I have enough to keep myself busy with. Still not sure that I’ll be able to start that e-zine, but I’m not discounting the possibility yet. I still think there would be some very good benefits to doing so, especially as I ramp up my literary agent search. We’ll see, I guess.

And, oh, one last, unrelated thing. Don’t ask why, considering there was no regional sense for me rooting for them (I was born and raised in NYC) ever since I was old enough to understand football. And it made no sense that, as a kid tossing a football around, I pretended I was Neil Lomax instead of, say, Phil Simms or Richard Todd. But that’s how it worked out, and I’ve remained loyal to my team throughout all the ups and downs, but mostly downs. And every year, despite everything, I would insist, this was our year. This was the year this team surprised everyone and went all the way. And every year, I’ve had to content myself with our usual mantra of, “Wait till next year,” and look forward to Draft Day and the top pick we’d be getting that would take us to the Super Bowl next year.

Now, having said all that, please forgive this following outburst.

Ahem.

GO ARIZONA CARDINALS!!! WOOHOOO!!!! ONE MORE WIN, AND WE’RE IN THE SUPER BOWL!!! And then I can NON-facetiously say, “WOOHOO!! CARDINALS, SUPER BOWL BOUND!!! WOOO!” ^^;

I dare anyone to say I’m a bandwagon jumper. Really. Go ahead. Just try it ^_^ I’ll refer you to my friends, who regularly mocked me during fantasy football for filling my rosters with Cardinal players. Or my girlfriend, who makes fun of me for liking a team I had no regional reason for liking just because they had a cute cardinal on their helmet.

So, to the Arizona Cardinals, good luck this Sunday! No matter what happens, you’ve already made this lifelong (if incomprehensible) Cardinals fan giddy and half-insane with happiness.

GO CARDS! WOO!

Another trick to writing: Remember it’s just a draft

I got to page 27 last night of Electing Choi, and I ran into my first genuine moment of, “Oh gods, this sucks!” The scene I’m currently working on has a lot going on, with a lot of characters vying for valuable screen time, and so far, I think I’ve made a mess of it. And as the first traces of frustration and self-doubt began to creep in, I decided to call it a night. Which is, I think, the best thing any of us can do whenever we come across a moment of self-doubt with regards to something we otherwise know we can do.

So this morning, as I’m prepping for work, I came across a couple of new ideas for the scene, and a new gag to throw in (remember, it’s a satirical comedy, so the funnier I can make it, the better). Just goes to show that, sometimes, you really do just need to step back, take a deep breath, and take a fresh look at things the next day.

But more importantly, it goes back to something that should be common sense among all writers, and that somehow eludes many, especially new or aspiring writers. And that is this: you’ll do yourself a great favor if you just concede that your first draft will suck. There, I said it ^_^

A first draft is called a first draft for a reason. It’s your first stab at something you hope will be great. But few things, if any, are great their first time around, and writing is hardly one of them. Even the most experienced writers, I’m sure, will write third and fourth drafts of something that are infinitely better than their first draft. Which is to say, a first draft is supposed to be bad, crappy, and lacking in detail and depth. It’s supposed to be something that makes you think, “This could work, but I gotta put a lot more work into it.” That’s what the second and third drafts are for ^_^

Like I said, this should be common sense among all of us calling ourselves writers. But it still astounds me how many aspiring writers out there get so bogged down by the notion that their first pages of their first chapter of their first ever piece of writing have to be the best writing known to man. They get mired in this perfectionist, high-pressure mindset, and when that first draft reads like a first draft (i.e., it’s terrible), they get discouraged and oftentimes stop writing for a while, if not for good. And that’s the biggest mistake anyone can make. You have to be patient with yourself, and understand that it will take time to craft something that's good, and that you can't just give up because you're not writing Shakespearean verses your first time around. Remember, it's about being kind to yourself.

With Electing Choi, I definitely hate the last five pages I wrote. But you know what? They’re a start, and when I go back and start the second draft, I’ll make them better. There’s no need for me to sulk and think, “I suck at this, I better stop because this one scene sucks so bad,” and there’s no need for me to spend the next month just trying to hammer out this one complex scene. Better to just accept that this first draft is going to be bad, move on, and keep pace with my writing goals.

So there you have it. Another kernel of five-cent wisdom from a writer who sounds like he’s figured everything out but who, in fact, doesn’t even know where he’s standing sometimes.

In other news, I’m happy to say that it looks like The Pineapple Brigade is active ^_^ I jammed with the guitarist, Eugene, on Sunday, and we definitely clicked. Not just musically, but personally, which is great. Not to mention, he knows who bands like GO!GO!7188! are, and he liked the Dirt Bike Annie stuff I gave him, so we’re definitely on the same page musically ^^; We’re still trying to figure out our approach, but we’ll start up in January and take things from there. Needless to say, I’m excited.

I also recently heard from two people regarding Solstice. One of them found me on Facebook and complimented the book, which was a such a pleasant surprise. And the other is actually an old friend whom I used to correspond with back when I used to maintain an Anime site, Senseless Solutions. It was incredible to hear from her again, and even more incredible to hear she bought the book, read it in two days, and loved it. Wow ^_^; Well, to both of you, thank you so much. You really made my day, and reminded me that, hey, the novel wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t too bad, and I sort of kind of maybe accomplished something kind of maybe perhaps nifty by self-publishing it ^_^ Or not ^^;;

But Inventing Vazquez won’t be self-published, that’s for sure. And I hope to start sending out those queries to literary agents in January. Oh wow, that’s going to be fun…

Anyway, it’s Christmas Eve, so here’s a happy holiday greeting to all of you who read this blog! May your holidays be healthy, safe, happy, and thoroughly enjoyed in the company of family and friends. May the new year bring you all the good fortune, changes, and happiness you want. And may we be always thankful for the all the good things in our lives, including the food on our plates, the roofs over our heads, and the affection of those who call themselves our friends and family. Cheers!

Agents, Sequels, and Pineapples. Oh my.

So I finally burned through most of my excess vacation time, and got quite a bit done. I began the process of researching literary agents, and came up with some very promising leads. I drafted both a query letter and a six-page synopsis for Inventing Vazquez. I still have to proof the first three chapters meticulously, and have them ready to go. My plan, now, is to send out the first batch of queries in early January. And then pray really really hard to the gods and the universe that, this time, a literary agent will want to work with me.

I also started the sequel to Inventing Vazquez, Electing Choi, in earnest. In fact, I completed both chapter ones (a little joke there, thanks to the dual narratives that start the story). My goal is to have the first 30 pages of Electing Choi written by the end of December (you know, a page a day, more or less), and so far, I’m at page 15, so I’m more or less on track. And I’m really excited about this project, not just because I get to work again with Liliana and her crew, but because of the plot twists I’m looking forward to writing down.

I’m going home for the holidays, and I’ll probably get more work done there. I think I’ll focus more then on editing the samples chapters and the query literature, to make sure I’m ready to go when I come back home in January. I hope to also map out the ideas and general direction for the e-zine I want to start, and then ask my friends and bro to join in the mayhem and help me get it off the ground. Have to think more on the title, though. The one I wanted is kind of already taken ^_^;

I also had the chance to compose four new songs, three of which I still need to write lyrics for. Ugh, that’s one thing I struggle with, mostly because I never know what to sing about. Heh, ‘sing’. There’s a lie if I ever said one. The truth is, I’m getting more and more frustrated with my inability to sing well. One of my new songs, Room I-94, I did write lyrics for, and I tried singing it. And I couldn’t stand it. I really need to find a female musician/singer to do these songs. Because I find myself hating my own songs just because I kill them with my crummy vocals! ^^;

But things are looking interesting for The Pineapple Brigade. For one thing, it’s now my sole musical focus. Following all kinds of misunderstanding, I was unceremoniously dropped from the blues band I was with on Sunday. Via voicemail. Because that’s the mature way of handling such things. I was pissed for a while on Sunday, not because I’d been let go (like I always said, blues was never my thing), but because of the way it was handled. It really irritates me that people can’t seem to tell you things in person. In person, they tell you things are great, you’re great, hey, let’s stay together, we love to have you, bla bla bla. But when they decide to contradict everything they told you in person, and leave you a voicemail saying, “Yeah, I’ve hired a friend to play bass, thanks,” you realize you’re probably better off not working with them. Dear gods, what ever happened to common courtesy and manners?

Still, after blowing off some steam and leaving that guy a voicemail calling him out for his lack of professionalism, I saw things in a different light. Now I think this is the universe’s way of saying I’m supposed to be working to make The Pineapple Brigade happen. That I shouldn’t have been spending time on a musical project my heart simply wasn’t into. That now’s the time to focus back in on the music I love and want to play live. And I’ve got a great foundation to build on. I have 12 original songs ready to go. That’s enough not just for a set, but for an album. So maybe now’s the time to keep working on those songs, and some new songs, and work toward making The Pineapple Brigade more than just a ‘project’.

The other thing is that I’ve been in touch with a really cool guitarist who’s recently moved to Detroit. While we haven’t jammed yet, I have high hopes that we’ll be able to work together, now that our musical tastes are virtually identical, we’re the same age, we’re both experienced musicians, and we have the same attitude and passion toward music. If he and I decide to start The Pineapple Brigade in earnest, well, it’ll be a critical first step toward making the whole band idea come true.

So that’s what’s been going on. In other words, nothing much, really. Anywayz, stay warm, folks. And remember: you don’t win friends with salad.

The end of one project, the start of many

Well, it took me longer than I thought it would, but I finished the new draft of Inventing Vazquez on Sunday. I think this version is getting close to the final one. I still need to go over it again and do another round of wordsmithing, fact checking, and tweaking, but I think the major changes are done. At least, I hope so. I’ve got two test readers this time, and I’ll be holding my breath to see what they think.

It’s an exciting time. Not only because I’m a step closer to completing Inventing Vazquez, but because I now have some time to do other things. As is my habit when finishing a draft, I’m shelving it for a month so I can look at it with fresh eyes in January. And in the meantime, I’ve got lots of free time, mostly because I have a lot of days off I have to burn through at work.

So I’m planning to do several things starting this Thursday. For starters, I’m going to start compiling a list of literary agents, and start prepping the query packages. I really hope that, with the groundwork I’ve already done with Solstice, with my web site, with the book reviews, and the on-the-side writing projects for Quiet Earth and Urban Molecule, I’ll have a better shot at landing an agent. Well, that, and I genuinely think Inventing Vazquez is a better novel with much better writing. Plus it’s funny, so at least I won’t be turning off agents with my “My novel is about the end of the world!” approach! ^_^;

I’m even more excited about the writing projects I have lined up. I have three: The Mourning Syndrome, Electing Choi (the sequel to Inventing Vazquez), and an untitled dark comedy project I’m considering. Since I can’t work on all three at the same time, what I’ll be doing is outlining each, and see which one I feel most enthusiastic about. My guess is it’ll be Electing Choi, because The Mourning Syndrome is depressing end-of-world fare, and I’ve really enjoyed the zany, free-spirited writing style of Inventing Vazquez. But the third project, a sort of road-trip narrative, has its appeal, and so I’ll map it out and see if it’s a viable project at this time. I guess, as long as I can be zany and whimsical, I’ll be happy.

So that’s all, right? Well, not really. ^_^ I’m still trying to form a punk rock band, and I might be a step closer to doing so. I’ve been in touch with a guitarist who’s moving to Detroit tomorrow, and we may jam this weekend to see if we can work together. I have high hopes, because we’re the same age and have very similar musical tastes. If we decide to start the Pineapple Brigade together, then we’ll just need a drummer and a singer, hopefully female. In the meantime, I’m still writing songs. I wrote two new songs over the past couple of weeks, deciding to just have fun and write the kind of jumpy, melodic tunes I like. Wish I could sing, but oh well, what can you do? ^_^

So that’s all, right? I mean, between researching literary agents, starting a new book (after outlining three separate projects), maybe starting a band, and writing more music, I should be pretty much booked up, right? Well, leave it to me to want to squeeze in another thing into my schedule ^_^;

While it’s still in its “I have a goofy idea” phase, I’m thinking of starting an e-zine. Something completely random, humorous, and observational. Something that’ll discuss politics, popular culture, not-so-popular culture, music, and technology. Ideally, I’d like to get together with my friends and publish regular articles, but I haven’t discussed this with anyone except my girlfriend yet. In any event, it’s still in its pre-pre-pre-planning stage, but I think it’d be something cool to do. And I think I already have a name for it. What is it? Something named after one of my favorite Polysics songs ^_^ That’s all I’ll say for now.

Anyway, December should be an interesting, fun, and busy month. And, oh, isn’t there some kind of holiday or something toward the end? ^^;

The Pineapple Brigade is Active!

At long last, I've posted three of my songs on a new MySpace page.
If you'd like to hear what my would-be band, The Pineapple Brigade, sounds like, check it out at www.myspace.com/thepineapplebrigade!

Just remember, I'm primarily a bassist. Not a guitarist. Not a drummer. And CERTAINLY not a singer! ^^; My singing is painfully bad, but it's the best I can do for now. Hopefully, I can someday get a band together, with real guitarists, and a real singer!

Until then, please don't laugh too hard!