Recession-proof publishing?

An idea that’s been gaining traction with me is publishing my new novel, Inventing Vazquez, as a free serialized online novel.

I know I haven’t exhausted my options in terms of looking for a literary agent (I’m now up to about 30 rejections), but the reality is that it’s going to be extremely hard to land one in this economy. So the question facing me is: do I have the will to go through another 70 rejections, or do I want to get this story out, no matter what?

Self-publishing is not an option for me at this point. Not only can I not afford it, but after the nightmare that was having my distributor bought out by AtlasBooks, I don’t know that I want to deal with that nonsense again.

So the alternative is, of course, publishing it for free online. I’ve done it before. In fact, my first ‘novel’ was an online serial, a novel-length Anime fanfic I did way back in the day. It was odd because I didn’t intend for it to be a novel. I started writing a fanfic, thought it’d be a short story, but as the story kept evolving, and my site got more and more traffic from interested readers, the project took on a life of its own. And so, 500 pages later, I’d completed the novel, and amassed an impressive readership.

With Inventing Vazquez, I guess I’d post the first five chapters, promote the site anyway I could, and then start posting new chapters about once or twice a month. And with 65 chapters, I’d say there’d be plenty to keep an audience interested in for a while.

It’d be the best way to tell the story now, and it’s a story I want to tell. As a Latino, I can barely go a week without seeing something on TV or film that insults me. I think most people of color can say the same thing. So this is a story for anyone who’s ever felt like mainstream media treats us like non-entities. And it’s a funny story that, I hope, will put a smile on the face of anyone who reads it regardless of race.

So there’s the sense of immediacy—I want this story to get out, and through traditional publishing mediums, it could be at least two years before it is.

But I have to weigh that against the dreams that I and every other writer holds—we all dream of that first published book (and yes, Solstice was published, but self-published) and receiving that first advance check from the publisher, or even getting that phone call from an agent saying, “I’d like to discuss representation.” Make no mistake, I don’t seek fame or fortune, but I’ve had these dreams too. For as long as I’ve been a writer (the better part of 20 years), I’ve dreamed of the day I became a legitimate author (and I think many people would argue being self-published isn’t legitimate).

Inventing Vazquez, I thought, would be a novel that could get me there. I think it’s infinitely better than Solstice, and has a broader commercial appeal because of its humor. So it’s a difficult decision I need to make. Do I abandon my dream for a while longer and publish a novel online for the sake of telling the story, or do I hold out for the hope that an agent will eventually be interested? Do I take full control over things and publish it online at a price (free) that anyone can afford, or do I trust myself to the universe and hope it’ll help me fulfill my publishing dreams?

The pros of publishing online are, of course, full control, and a chance to interact with readers. That’s one of my fondest memories of publishing my first serialized novel: I got to meet a lot of people online, and chat with them about my work. And, well, there’s always a distant chance that, if the novel gains some traction that way, a publisher might take interest.

The cons are, of course, not being “legitimate,” and not having the tactile reality of a book in your hands, or being able to say the novel you worked so hard on is now available in bookstores.

Well, I guess I have to think on it for a while. Probably harder to do so with all the things unraveling in my personal life, but oh well, have to keep moving forward somehow.

One final note: my band is now named Guru Hissy Fit, and we have a web site with samples of our songs. We hope to start playing out in September. Drop by, take a listen, and become a fan on Facebook if you like.

Peace.

A small accomplishment...for now

Last night, I finished what I’m calling the ‘final’ (for now) draft of my second novel, Inventing Vazquez. It’s the fifth rewrite, I think, and the draft I feel is strong, tight, and cohesive enough to merit publishing consideration. Yeah, I know every writer says that about his or her own work, but at some point, we need to be able to say, “It’s done!” Even if we all agree that every book is always a work in progress.

But, for the sake of argument and an abstract sense of accomplishment, let me just declare…Inventing Vazquez is DONE…for now. I’m sure there will be more changes to it. Hopefully that’s after I have an agent read the thing and suggest ways of making it more publishable.

That’s the next step, obviously: stepping up my agent search once more. I haven’t sent out any new queries in the past few weeks, but will probably send some out before the week is over. Who knows, maybe the universe will let me score a lucky hit this time around.

Now that I consider Inventing Vazquez a completed work (for now), I’m returning to its sequel, Electing Choi. I have so many crazy, zany ideas for that story, I can’t wait to get to them. It’s already proving as zany a story as Inventing Vazquez (my motto is ‘all zany, all the time’ after all), and I’m particularly looking forward to working with the two characters who have the biggest twists this time around. I’m past page 100 of that novel, so I’m well past the point of “I have an idea” and firmly in the “I’m writing a new novel” camp.

Writing and music are the things keeping me afloat these days. It’s basically only through my writing and my music (my band is coming along nicely, even though we’re now without a drummer) that I’m feeling any real sense of accomplishment these days. I’ve given up hope of ever have anything resembling a career path at work (I work at a company where ambition and drive seem to be liabilities if you’re not talking golf with some exec every day), and conceded that all my best efforts and work will always be rewarded with indifference. My job is to help others get promoted, even though I’m at the second and last step of my so-called career ladder and easy to overlook despite my contributions. Oh well. I consider myself a writer, first and foremost. I can still dream that, some day, I’ll be able to make a decent living out of being one full-time.

I might be taking a trip out to Chicago soon, just to do a little soul-searching and maybe find some new direction and/or inspiration. I’ve felt a little adrift these past few months, and a big, painful transition on the horizon is sure to worsen things.

But I’m grateful for what I have. I thank the universe and my lucky stars that I have the ability to put thoughts down on paper and share stories with people. I thank the universe that I was able to write Inventing Vazquez, and I hope it’ll give me a hand in finding the right agent to help me get this story out.

Looking for an agent? Get whatever help you can.

Without a doubt, trying to land an agent is harder than actually writing your novel. I’ve known this for a long time, and my recent, and thus far unsuccessful, agent search is only confirming this with each passing day of silence. I’ve already passed the 10-rejection mark, with nary an idea of what I’m doing wrong. Such is the beauty of form rejection letters, I suppose. (Although I did receive one rejection that didn’t even bother with form, or even proper punctuation. Good as reason as any, I suppose, not to work with them.)

For a DIY person like me, who likes to do things himself to generate fast results, the agent search is particularly hard. So much of this is out of my control, it’s frustrating and maddening to no end. Writing and editing your novel, that’s something you have full control over: trying to sell that novel, and trying to convince an agent inundated in thousands of weekly queries, is another story. You can’t control whether the agent is having a bad day and dismisses your query on whim. You can’t control it if it’s some poor overworked assistant who’s just trying to get through his cluttered inbox. You can’t control it if the reader simply doesn’t like the name of your main character.

What to do in these instances? Get any help you can. Not only for help in perfecting your query package, but to help you get through it emotionally.

Here’s where I wish I weren’t on a desert island all the time. I’ve worked inside a bubble for most of my literary life, whether by choice or circumstance. As a result, I don’t exactly have a group or a mentor I can turn to who know the ins and outs of publishing, and who could provide assistance. I haven’t been able to turn to anyone and ask, “What’s wrong with my query letter?” This is mostly because I’ve never had a network of fellow writers or a mentor I could turn to, and it’s a mistake I wouldn’t encourage you to repeat.

I think most writers are smart enough to immerse themselves among a group of peers, whether in real life or through the Internet. If you haven’t, I encourage you to do so, because I’m learning the hard way that this process is as laborious and exhausting as raising a child. And as the old saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. Likewise, it takes a village, or at least a creative community, to raise a novel from conception to publication.

Here’s the other reason why it’s good to have a network of support: moral support. The agent search process is long, grueling, and it will gradually shred your confidence until you’re convinced you’re the worst writer and the novel you thought was so great is a total piece of crap. In these times, it’s good to have a network of support that knows what you’re going through, and provide not only objective advice, but informed direction. It’s one thing for a family member to say, “Hey, it’s a great novel, just keep at it.” It’s another for someone who’s been through the agent search process to say, “It’s a good novel, but when I went through the same, here’s what I did.” I don’t know, maybe I’ve just fallen too deep into a “my writing sucks” mindset to think clearly, but sometimes I think this would be more manageable if I didn’t feel like I was on my own for this difficult process.

I guess it’s just been a very difficult few months, and I’m struggling to hold on in my personal and professional life. Problems at work, uncertainties at home, and a growing sense of self-loathing are only being exacerbated by this frustrating agent search. I’m sure that, as I near the 50-rejection mark, I’ll probably feel worse than I do now. I guess I have to hope that, at some point, some agent decides to at least give Inventing Vazquez a read. Otherwise, I may have to consider alternative publishing arrangements just to get this story out. And since I couldn’t afford self-publishing anymore, I might just post it online and let the story be told. Who knows.

Well, so much for never writing a blog entry while depressed. Many apologies.

Certainties and Uncertainties

It’s been a strange month. There’s been movement on some fronts, none on others, and new uncertainties in others. That’s the way things go, I guess.

There’s some good news to share, I think. As of this moment, my band, tentatively named The Pineapple Brigade, is active. Yesterday, we auditioned a female singer who turned out to add that missing element to our songs. I think she was amazing, as did the rest of the band. In fact, I knew within ten seconds of hearing her sing my song, Frozen Summer, that I wanted her in the band. What she did to that song was something I hadn’t expected, but that was stunning all the same. So we’re now set as a five-piece. It’s kind of exciting to think that, after all this work and all these frustrating attempts to find like-minded musicians in the area, I’ve finally put together the right people for this musical project.

The next step is to think of a new band name. The five of us agreed that the project has outgrown the Pineapple Brigade name, and so we want something that’s more reflective of the indie rock, diversified nature of our music. So there’s that, and nailing down the next half of our ten-song set list. We’ve got plenty of original songs to choose from, we just need to decide which we’ll be concentrating on for now. I’m also calling for us to record a three-song demo next month. I can’t wait for that. I can’t wait to hear these songs sound like they were meant to.

So that’s one thing that’s moving along. Another is Electing Choi, my sequel to Inventing Vazquez. After several bouts of writer’s block, I’ve gotten back on track with that. Currently, I’m on page 80 of the first draft, which isn’t too bad. I think 100 pages will be a cool first milestone.

Nothing so far on the literary agent search for Inventing Vazquez. It’s still a waiting game, but the most frustrating part is not even knowing how many of my applications are even still in play. I’ve already received three rejections, but my others are still unanswered. I don’t know if this means I’m being considered, or they haven’t even read it, or if they read it, tossed it, and aren’t going to tell me. I know I have to be patient, but it’s a difficult process, especially for someone like me, who loves to get things done now, now, and now.

Things have been less than great on other fronts. At work, the mounting frustrations of my job have really taken their toll, to the point where I find myself thinking of alternative employment options just to preserve my sanity and my health. And things at home have suddenly become uncertain, and who knows where things will end up. Suffice it to say, these are difficult times, and I hope the universe will help me achieve some clarity of mind so that I can get through them in one piece.

For now, at least, I’ve got enough creative projects to keep me preoccupied and moving forward. That’s the nice thing about music and writing. When you write—be it a song or a story—you’re in complete control. It’s all yours. And no one—not a co-worker, not a boss, not someone with a title higher up on the pecking order than yours—can tell you not to write what you want. It’s a great, liberating feeling to be able to compose a song or write a story, so I encourage anyone who’s having similar crises at work or at home to embrace whatever creative capacity they have. It really can make all the difference.

Cheers.

A new humor blog and a new pre-publication page

With Inventing Vazquez ready to go, and before I get back too deep into Electing Choi, I decided to put my pitiful HTML skills to use and build a new addition to my web site.

It’s nothing fancy, but I’ve posted a dedicated Inventing Vazquez information page. On it, you’ll find a brief description of the novel, as well as brief bios on some of the major characters. I think you’ll be able to tell just how zany this story promises to be. Any suggestions for added content would be greatly appreciated in the comments section of this blog ^_^ And, oh, I’m debating the validity of putting up three sample chapters for an unpublished book. Any thoughts on that?

The other thing I’m excited about is the launch of my new blog/e-zine lite, Digital Café con Leche (Digital Coffee was my name of choice, but it was already taken).

What’s Digital Café con Leche (literal translation: coffee with milk)? It’s my new medium for humor, satire, snark, and all things irrelevant. I love writing silly, incoherent, snarky observations about everything and anything. So I finally decided to just start writing them freelance and posting them on this new blog. So far, there are only two ‘articles’ in there, but I’ll be adding more. Please feel free to stop by, have a cup of irrelevance, and leave any comments/feedback ^_^

Back into writing Electing Choi now, and slowly making the novel take shape. It’s kind of exciting to be starting a new project…and a bit daunting. Because I’ve no doubt this one’s going to be as long as Inventing Vazquez @_@ Oh well.

Still no word on a literary agent. The waiting game sure is painful ^^;

Anyway, hope you enjoy my two little additions.

Searching for a Literary Agent

A fairly unambiguous title, huh?

At long last, my new novel, Inventing Vazquez, is finished. This latest rewrite is what I’m calling the agent-ready draft, one that I’m confident will properly represent the work and my capabilities as a writer to prospective agents. Can I hear a “woohoo”? ^_^

It was quite a ride getting here. I started this project in early 2007, right around the time I was scrambling to get Solstice ready for its publication. Because of all the ideas I had for Inventing Vazquez, I finished the first draft before the end of that year. Last year, I completed the next two rewrites. And now this year, I’ve gotten the novel to the point where I’m confident about sending it out for representation.

I think the most challenging part of this last rewrite was not just making the story tighter and funnier, but cutting it down as well. I’m happy to report that I’ve shaved off nearly 80 single-spaced pages, which should help the story flow smoother and quicker. It’s still a very long book (about 270,000 words ^^), but hopefully it’ll be a fun read given its zany, satirical nature. And boy, has it gotten progressively zanier with each draft! In this last draft, I’ve introduced a matchmaking dog named Preci who tries to hook her owner up with suitable mates, but always does something inappropriate (e.g., poops at their feet) to drive them away.

So far, my three test readers have given the book thumbs up. My good friend Pam, who actually read an earlier draft, liked it a lot, and my girlfriend (I know, hardly the most objective test reader, but she can be brutally honest when she needs to be) loved it. So there’s hope.

So anyway, the literary agent search is now on in earnest. In fact, a couple of weeks ago, I sent out the first five queries, including one to the agent I’m crossing all my fingers accepts me ^^; Almost immediately, I got two rejection form letters (wow, that was quick), but the other three seem to still be in the “Reject Later” pile as opposed to the “REJECT NOW!!!” pile ^^;

It’s funny. I personally think searching for a literary agent is the hardest part of this entire process. Yes, even harder than writing and rewriting the actual book! Why? Because you have to present yourself nearly perfectly. You’ve got no room for error. You have to write, rewrite, rewrite, rewrite, edit, scrap, restart, rewrite, rewrite, edit, pull hair, get drunk, rewrite, cry bitterly, and rewrite your query letter, synopsis, and all that other good stuff agents demand. You have to obsessively comb every line of text for errors and grammar. You have to somehow pitch your book (all 270,000 words of it) within the space of one page. You have to differentiate yourself somehow from the other 4,194,092 writers mailing query letters that same day. And you have to do it all knowing that most agents are going to respond with an impersonal form letter telling you, “Sorry, no thanks” without giving you one clue as to why.

I think that’s the most frustrating thing about this process. For all the effort you have to put into a search, you’re seldom told why you’re being rejected. Of course, I’m not criticizing literary agents for this, because the volume of correspondence they receive makes it impractical for them to individually address every rejection letter. But it does make it hard for you to know what you’re doing wrong. Is it that they didn’t like your writing? Is it just not their cup of tea? Did your query letter suck? Or did they just not like the name of your character? For the most part, you’re in the dark about why you’re being rejected, so it’s very difficult to know what to improve for the next round of queries.

But oh well, I’m going to give it my all and try to land an agent. And I’m a lot more confident about Inventing Vazquez: I really think it’ll offer an agent and a publisher something special. Oh wow, listen to me, egomaniac that I’ve become! ^^;

So what’s next? As usual, I’m going to take some time off from Inventing Vazquez before I start tinkering with it again (it’s true what they say, every work is always a work in progress). I’ll probably start up again on its sequel, Electing Choi, next week (I’m four chapters in as of now). However, because of all the ideas that are starting to build up for another story, I might try writing two books at once. My other project, tentatively titled Suicide Girls, might be my ‘nighttime’ project (i.e., the kind of project I’ll be more inspired to work on during the night, given its darker nature). We’ll see. Regardless, I’m excited to start working on a new project. Almost as excited as I am to finally say Inventing Vazquez is ready ^_^

Musically, things continue to take form. My band, The Pineapple Brigade, is starting to look like one. My fellow guitarist and I recently hooked up with a great drummer, and so now we just need a bassist and a female singer. So far, the three of us seem to have really good chemistry and compatibility, and we’re all on the same page musically. So who knows, maybe this summer, we’ll actually be able to gig. That’s my hope, anyway.

Of course, if given the choice between landing an agent or a summer gig, I wonder which I’d go with? ^^;

So please wish me luck in finding a good literary agent! I’m going to need it @_@

I write because I’m mad

It’s been a while since I updated this blog. I’ve been on a tear recently, editing around 10 pages of the new draft of Inventing Vazquez per day, and doing little else beyond it. The novel has become my life as of late, and probably will continue to be so until I finish it. Which is good, because I’m almost at page 300 of 496.

So far, I’ve succeeded in shortening the novel dramatically. I’ve already shaved about 60 single-spaced pages, in large part because I took out the infamous sex scene after two of my test readers said it just didn’t work. Both of them are women, and both said that it was the one moment in the book where you could really tell it was a man writing it. Not to mention, it was long, tedious, and, well, I’m not an erotica writer, so it was formulaic, awkward, and cheesy. So out it went. Hey, it’s 10 less pages to edit, I guess.

I’m confident I’ll have the book ready by the end of March. In the meantime, I plan to launch an agent search sometime next week.

There’s a reason why I am trying to move as fast as I can with this. You see, the novel is my snarky, satirical, humorous way of saying something not so humorous. I’m Latino, and throughout my life, I’ve had to watch as Hollywood and mainstream media have relegated Latino/as to the fringes of creative expression. When we see ourselves in film, it’s almost never a positive, dignified, or even a three-dimensional portrayal. More often than not, when you see a Latino/a in a Hollywood film, they’re a voiceless janitor, or a gang member, or a domestic servant.

We’re seldom portrayed as a strong people, unless we’re being portrayed as ruthless gang members in something like Training Day. We’re seldom portrayed with any depth or meaning. And when films do center around us, they’re in roles that are cliché, trite, and not all that flattering. I mean, seriously, is Jennifer Lopez in Maid in Manhattan the best we can hope for?

And it’s not just Latinos. It’s everyone who hasn’t found a way of making themselves heard in mainstream consciousness. Take, for example, Asian-Americans. Why is it that a movie like 21 (which is based off real events where a group of predominantly Asian-American students were involved) features a mostly white cast? Why is it that Hollywood thinks Asians can’t carry a film, and so it’s easier to cast whites in roles meant for Asians? Why is it that the new Avatar film, which is based heavily on Asian motifs and characters, is being cast with mostly white actors?

I guess I’m just getting mad at the way some of us just can’t see to get people’s attention. I mean, why is it that Miley Cyrus can do something as stupid as this chink-eye thing, and then offer nothing but a half-assed, “I’m the victim here” apology, and no one outside of Asian-American circles thinks there’s something messed up about the whole thing? (BTW, I hope Angry Asian Man doesn't mind me linking to his site. I think he's doing an amazing job of giving voice to the Asian-American community, and I admire him greatly for it.)

The truth is, some of us just haven’t done enough to make ourselves heard. Think of it this way. If Miley Cyrus had, instead, been photographed in blackface and eating watermelons, it wouldn’t just be the African-American community in an uproar. It’d be many others. And I’m sure Disney would then do a much better job of getting their little 16-year-old dimwit to apologize more convincingly (and maybe stop insinuating that we’re somehow at fault for feeling offended for her idiocy). Why? Because the African-American community has been much better at making itself heard. Because it’s been more aggressive, and better organized, and has forced mainstream American to listen to its grievances.

Of course, that’s not saying that we’re all well and dandy on the African-American front. Far from it. But at least people, no matter what race or background, now know better than to, say, start dropping the n-word. If you drop it, you know you’re willingly inviting trouble. And that, to me, proves that the African-American community has done a much better job of making itself heard than many of us.

Latinos, I think we’re just too splintered, scattered, and disorganized right now. Maybe it’s the same way with Asian-Americans, I don’t know. But I know that there’s something wrong with the way we respond to things that are offensive. Because if Miley Cyrus can do the chink-eye thing one moment, but still be fawned and drooled over because of what she wears at the Grammy’s less than a week later, then it’s obvious we haven’t made ourselves heard, or feared. It means the media and everyone else involved still can’t appreciate that this whole chink-eye thing is right on par with things like the n-word.

That’s why I’m writing Inventing Vazquez, and why I’m desperate to get it published. I’m mad at the way we don’t have much of a voice yet, and I want to help it become louder. I want to contribute to this ongoing, but maybe still quiet, dialogue between Latino/as and mainstream culture. And not just Latino/as, but anyone who’s ever felt marginalized by Hollywood and mainstream culture.

Inventing Vazquez is a satire about how Hollywood portrays people of color, and it’s about how one Latina decides she’s had enough, and finds ways of making her grievances—and those of her community—heard. While it’s humorous and zany, I hope it also relays a very serious message: that Latino/as, Asians, Indians, African-Americans, etc., all of us have to make ourselves heard. We have to make Hollywood and all realize that there are lots of us out there, and we have goals and ambitions and dreams too. And it’d be nice, for a change, to see movies where people who look like us aren’t just background fillers or voiceless criminals. It’d be nice if, one day, our kids could pretend to be something other than Indiana Jones, Luke Skywalker, James Bond, or any other white action hero. It’s like America Ferrerra in Ugly Betty said about Mexicans: “We don’t get action heroes. All we get is a fast rodent.”

So there you have it. My real reasons for writing Inventing Vazquez, and the reason I hope it gets published. No, I don’t hope. It will get published, even if I have to self-publish again. I just think that it carries a message that needs to be heard. Not because I think I’m so much wiser and need to impart my wisdom. No, because the book represents a voice, and if you get enough voices together speaking loudly enough, then they can’t be ignored anymore.

Yeah, I know, I’m an idealist. But what can I say? I cling to the belief that, when I finally have children, they’ll grow up in a world that’s more tolerant. Where people of different backgrounds actually talk to and listen to one another, instead of assuming things about or fearing one another. I want to believe that, when they’re old enough to see a movie, they’ll have something other than Jennifer Lopez or Dora the Explorer to feel inspired by. That they can see a movie, see a character that looks like them, and actually think, “Wow, I want to be like that person when I grow up.” That they’ll be able to see a movie without feeling secretly ashamed because they think, somehow, that all they can ever be is a janitor, or a criminal, or a busboy, or a hapless indentured servant for some rich family.

Hey, I can dream, right?

New Year, New Goals, and a Little WOOHOO Thrown In

Happy 2009, everyone.

So, it’s a new year. And while I’m not one to make resolutions, I always like to re-affirm my long-term goals and strategies at the start of every year. Like last year, my only real goal was to finish Inventing Vazquez. Which I did. Kind of. I finished the third draft, at least.

This year, my goal will be to complete the book in earnest, and land an agent. And while I was busy thinking in December that I’d be sending out queries this month, I decided to not be so hasty. I’m working on the next round of edits right now, with the goal of not just cleaning up the writing and adding a small wrinkle or two, but of shortening the novel. Because it’s a bit too long, maybe long enough to scare off an agent.

So far, with the first five chapters I’ve edited, I’ve succeeded in knocking off a page per chapter. So if I can do that all throughout, and there are 65 chapters, that’s at least 65 pages I’ll streamline from the final draft.

My plan, though, is to make the most efficient use of my time. Because it can take so long to hear back from an agent, I think I’ll work on getting the first half of the book done, right and proper. Once that first half is done, I’ll send out the query packages, and then get to work on the second half. The hope is that, by the time an agent (hopefully) requests to see the entire manuscript, I’ll have it ready to go. That’s the hope, anyway.

But because I don’t want to take forever, this time I’m setting a very concrete deadline: I want to have the entire novel finalized by the end of March. It’ll be tight, but doable. I think that, while setting artificial deadlines can be counterproductive, in some cases they can give you the right kind of urgency. And urgency is definitely something I feel right now, in terms of getting Inventing Vazquez moving from manuscript to published work. I’m very enthused and confident about this book, and I really want to get it out there. Somehow, I think it’ll have some good things to say, and I think it’ll make people laugh a lot. I hope so, anyway ^_^;

So that’s the deal with Inventing Vazquez. Its sequel, Electing Choi, is now on hold, since I’m trying to punch out at least one chapter of edits per day, but really aiming for two. Next month, I’ll also have to start working more seriously on the query letter, synopsis, and other such agent-related goodies.

So yeah, Electing Choi is going to have to wait. One thing that won’t have to wait, though, is Liliana’s new character design ^_^ For Electing Choi, since Liliana’s character is now older, more mature, and a lot more spunky and confident, I figured she’d need a makeover from her character design from Inventing Vazquez. And so, I thought she’d need to have shorter hair, something more whimsical and playful. And my brother, ever the artist, made a chibi rendition of Liliana in her old and new incarnations:

Isn’t it adorable?! And yes, in both novels, Liliana is in a band, although she’s never the bassist (at least, I don’t think she’ll be). Like I said, this is a chibi style drawing (a Japanese Anime-style super-deformed animation), but I thought it was adorable. So, thanks, Arturo! ^_^

Speaking of bands, The Pineapple Brigade project is definitely picking up steam. The guitarist I’ve been working with (let us call him Gene for now) and I are clicking very well. So much so, we essentially laid down the foundation for an improved version of one of my songs, Frozen Summer. He’s a natural guitarist, and a very good one, and he was able to add a lead guitar track that gave the song a whole new dimension. Plus, in one of the song’s breakdowns, he improvised some backing vocal arrangements, and I was blown away at how well they worked. I was geeked, to say the absolute least.

Even more geeked about something very unexpected. I’ve always said I’m primarily a bassist. But this past practice, I took my electric guitar down to the basement, figuring I could use it to more easily show Gene the guitar notes for some of my songs. I ended up playing rhythm guitar for the entire practice. By the end of it, Gene makes a startling declaration: he thinks that, instead of playing bass in the band, I should play rhythm/lead guitar. Because what I was doing wasn’t only good enough, but it was essentially lead guitar work.

I was stunned, because while I always wanted to play guitar in a band (it’s more fun, I think, and more conducive for my onstage freestyle maniac style of play), I never thought I was good enough. A proven guitarist thinks I am. That’s good enough for me ^^;

So here I am, switching gears musically. I was planning on buying a better bass amp to start off the year, but now I’m researching new guitars, looking for one to call my own. The one I’m currently using is a loaner, a Fender strat, and I think I’ll stick with a Fender, maybe another Stratocaster, depending on what I can afford. I’m pretty excited about it.

Hopefully, Gene and I can soon find a female bassist in the Detroit area who likes punk pop, and then we’d really have the start of something very special. Because it’s part of my whole band dream thingy: to have a female musician who does backing/lead vocals, and give the band a male-female vocal dynamic. Kind of like what Kim Deal did with The Pixies, and Jeannie Lee did for Dirt Bike Annie. I think both those women added so much to those bands.

I guess, between Inventing Vazquez and The Pineapple Brigade, I have enough to keep myself busy with. Still not sure that I’ll be able to start that e-zine, but I’m not discounting the possibility yet. I still think there would be some very good benefits to doing so, especially as I ramp up my literary agent search. We’ll see, I guess.

And, oh, one last, unrelated thing. Don’t ask why, considering there was no regional sense for me rooting for them (I was born and raised in NYC) ever since I was old enough to understand football. And it made no sense that, as a kid tossing a football around, I pretended I was Neil Lomax instead of, say, Phil Simms or Richard Todd. But that’s how it worked out, and I’ve remained loyal to my team throughout all the ups and downs, but mostly downs. And every year, despite everything, I would insist, this was our year. This was the year this team surprised everyone and went all the way. And every year, I’ve had to content myself with our usual mantra of, “Wait till next year,” and look forward to Draft Day and the top pick we’d be getting that would take us to the Super Bowl next year.

Now, having said all that, please forgive this following outburst.

Ahem.

GO ARIZONA CARDINALS!!! WOOHOOO!!!! ONE MORE WIN, AND WE’RE IN THE SUPER BOWL!!! And then I can NON-facetiously say, “WOOHOO!! CARDINALS, SUPER BOWL BOUND!!! WOOO!” ^^;

I dare anyone to say I’m a bandwagon jumper. Really. Go ahead. Just try it ^_^ I’ll refer you to my friends, who regularly mocked me during fantasy football for filling my rosters with Cardinal players. Or my girlfriend, who makes fun of me for liking a team I had no regional reason for liking just because they had a cute cardinal on their helmet.

So, to the Arizona Cardinals, good luck this Sunday! No matter what happens, you’ve already made this lifelong (if incomprehensible) Cardinals fan giddy and half-insane with happiness.

GO CARDS! WOO!

Another trick to writing: Remember it’s just a draft

I got to page 27 last night of Electing Choi, and I ran into my first genuine moment of, “Oh gods, this sucks!” The scene I’m currently working on has a lot going on, with a lot of characters vying for valuable screen time, and so far, I think I’ve made a mess of it. And as the first traces of frustration and self-doubt began to creep in, I decided to call it a night. Which is, I think, the best thing any of us can do whenever we come across a moment of self-doubt with regards to something we otherwise know we can do.

So this morning, as I’m prepping for work, I came across a couple of new ideas for the scene, and a new gag to throw in (remember, it’s a satirical comedy, so the funnier I can make it, the better). Just goes to show that, sometimes, you really do just need to step back, take a deep breath, and take a fresh look at things the next day.

But more importantly, it goes back to something that should be common sense among all writers, and that somehow eludes many, especially new or aspiring writers. And that is this: you’ll do yourself a great favor if you just concede that your first draft will suck. There, I said it ^_^

A first draft is called a first draft for a reason. It’s your first stab at something you hope will be great. But few things, if any, are great their first time around, and writing is hardly one of them. Even the most experienced writers, I’m sure, will write third and fourth drafts of something that are infinitely better than their first draft. Which is to say, a first draft is supposed to be bad, crappy, and lacking in detail and depth. It’s supposed to be something that makes you think, “This could work, but I gotta put a lot more work into it.” That’s what the second and third drafts are for ^_^

Like I said, this should be common sense among all of us calling ourselves writers. But it still astounds me how many aspiring writers out there get so bogged down by the notion that their first pages of their first chapter of their first ever piece of writing have to be the best writing known to man. They get mired in this perfectionist, high-pressure mindset, and when that first draft reads like a first draft (i.e., it’s terrible), they get discouraged and oftentimes stop writing for a while, if not for good. And that’s the biggest mistake anyone can make. You have to be patient with yourself, and understand that it will take time to craft something that's good, and that you can't just give up because you're not writing Shakespearean verses your first time around. Remember, it's about being kind to yourself.

With Electing Choi, I definitely hate the last five pages I wrote. But you know what? They’re a start, and when I go back and start the second draft, I’ll make them better. There’s no need for me to sulk and think, “I suck at this, I better stop because this one scene sucks so bad,” and there’s no need for me to spend the next month just trying to hammer out this one complex scene. Better to just accept that this first draft is going to be bad, move on, and keep pace with my writing goals.

So there you have it. Another kernel of five-cent wisdom from a writer who sounds like he’s figured everything out but who, in fact, doesn’t even know where he’s standing sometimes.

In other news, I’m happy to say that it looks like The Pineapple Brigade is active ^_^ I jammed with the guitarist, Eugene, on Sunday, and we definitely clicked. Not just musically, but personally, which is great. Not to mention, he knows who bands like GO!GO!7188! are, and he liked the Dirt Bike Annie stuff I gave him, so we’re definitely on the same page musically ^^; We’re still trying to figure out our approach, but we’ll start up in January and take things from there. Needless to say, I’m excited.

I also recently heard from two people regarding Solstice. One of them found me on Facebook and complimented the book, which was a such a pleasant surprise. And the other is actually an old friend whom I used to correspond with back when I used to maintain an Anime site, Senseless Solutions. It was incredible to hear from her again, and even more incredible to hear she bought the book, read it in two days, and loved it. Wow ^_^; Well, to both of you, thank you so much. You really made my day, and reminded me that, hey, the novel wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t too bad, and I sort of kind of maybe accomplished something kind of maybe perhaps nifty by self-publishing it ^_^ Or not ^^;;

But Inventing Vazquez won’t be self-published, that’s for sure. And I hope to start sending out those queries to literary agents in January. Oh wow, that’s going to be fun…

Anyway, it’s Christmas Eve, so here’s a happy holiday greeting to all of you who read this blog! May your holidays be healthy, safe, happy, and thoroughly enjoyed in the company of family and friends. May the new year bring you all the good fortune, changes, and happiness you want. And may we be always thankful for the all the good things in our lives, including the food on our plates, the roofs over our heads, and the affection of those who call themselves our friends and family. Cheers!

Agents, Sequels, and Pineapples. Oh my.

So I finally burned through most of my excess vacation time, and got quite a bit done. I began the process of researching literary agents, and came up with some very promising leads. I drafted both a query letter and a six-page synopsis for Inventing Vazquez. I still have to proof the first three chapters meticulously, and have them ready to go. My plan, now, is to send out the first batch of queries in early January. And then pray really really hard to the gods and the universe that, this time, a literary agent will want to work with me.

I also started the sequel to Inventing Vazquez, Electing Choi, in earnest. In fact, I completed both chapter ones (a little joke there, thanks to the dual narratives that start the story). My goal is to have the first 30 pages of Electing Choi written by the end of December (you know, a page a day, more or less), and so far, I’m at page 15, so I’m more or less on track. And I’m really excited about this project, not just because I get to work again with Liliana and her crew, but because of the plot twists I’m looking forward to writing down.

I’m going home for the holidays, and I’ll probably get more work done there. I think I’ll focus more then on editing the samples chapters and the query literature, to make sure I’m ready to go when I come back home in January. I hope to also map out the ideas and general direction for the e-zine I want to start, and then ask my friends and bro to join in the mayhem and help me get it off the ground. Have to think more on the title, though. The one I wanted is kind of already taken ^_^;

I also had the chance to compose four new songs, three of which I still need to write lyrics for. Ugh, that’s one thing I struggle with, mostly because I never know what to sing about. Heh, ‘sing’. There’s a lie if I ever said one. The truth is, I’m getting more and more frustrated with my inability to sing well. One of my new songs, Room I-94, I did write lyrics for, and I tried singing it. And I couldn’t stand it. I really need to find a female musician/singer to do these songs. Because I find myself hating my own songs just because I kill them with my crummy vocals! ^^;

But things are looking interesting for The Pineapple Brigade. For one thing, it’s now my sole musical focus. Following all kinds of misunderstanding, I was unceremoniously dropped from the blues band I was with on Sunday. Via voicemail. Because that’s the mature way of handling such things. I was pissed for a while on Sunday, not because I’d been let go (like I always said, blues was never my thing), but because of the way it was handled. It really irritates me that people can’t seem to tell you things in person. In person, they tell you things are great, you’re great, hey, let’s stay together, we love to have you, bla bla bla. But when they decide to contradict everything they told you in person, and leave you a voicemail saying, “Yeah, I’ve hired a friend to play bass, thanks,” you realize you’re probably better off not working with them. Dear gods, what ever happened to common courtesy and manners?

Still, after blowing off some steam and leaving that guy a voicemail calling him out for his lack of professionalism, I saw things in a different light. Now I think this is the universe’s way of saying I’m supposed to be working to make The Pineapple Brigade happen. That I shouldn’t have been spending time on a musical project my heart simply wasn’t into. That now’s the time to focus back in on the music I love and want to play live. And I’ve got a great foundation to build on. I have 12 original songs ready to go. That’s enough not just for a set, but for an album. So maybe now’s the time to keep working on those songs, and some new songs, and work toward making The Pineapple Brigade more than just a ‘project’.

The other thing is that I’ve been in touch with a really cool guitarist who’s recently moved to Detroit. While we haven’t jammed yet, I have high hopes that we’ll be able to work together, now that our musical tastes are virtually identical, we’re the same age, we’re both experienced musicians, and we have the same attitude and passion toward music. If he and I decide to start The Pineapple Brigade in earnest, well, it’ll be a critical first step toward making the whole band idea come true.

So that’s what’s been going on. In other words, nothing much, really. Anywayz, stay warm, folks. And remember: you don’t win friends with salad.

The end of one project, the start of many

Well, it took me longer than I thought it would, but I finished the new draft of Inventing Vazquez on Sunday. I think this version is getting close to the final one. I still need to go over it again and do another round of wordsmithing, fact checking, and tweaking, but I think the major changes are done. At least, I hope so. I’ve got two test readers this time, and I’ll be holding my breath to see what they think.

It’s an exciting time. Not only because I’m a step closer to completing Inventing Vazquez, but because I now have some time to do other things. As is my habit when finishing a draft, I’m shelving it for a month so I can look at it with fresh eyes in January. And in the meantime, I’ve got lots of free time, mostly because I have a lot of days off I have to burn through at work.

So I’m planning to do several things starting this Thursday. For starters, I’m going to start compiling a list of literary agents, and start prepping the query packages. I really hope that, with the groundwork I’ve already done with Solstice, with my web site, with the book reviews, and the on-the-side writing projects for Quiet Earth and Urban Molecule, I’ll have a better shot at landing an agent. Well, that, and I genuinely think Inventing Vazquez is a better novel with much better writing. Plus it’s funny, so at least I won’t be turning off agents with my “My novel is about the end of the world!” approach! ^_^;

I’m even more excited about the writing projects I have lined up. I have three: The Mourning Syndrome, Electing Choi (the sequel to Inventing Vazquez), and an untitled dark comedy project I’m considering. Since I can’t work on all three at the same time, what I’ll be doing is outlining each, and see which one I feel most enthusiastic about. My guess is it’ll be Electing Choi, because The Mourning Syndrome is depressing end-of-world fare, and I’ve really enjoyed the zany, free-spirited writing style of Inventing Vazquez. But the third project, a sort of road-trip narrative, has its appeal, and so I’ll map it out and see if it’s a viable project at this time. I guess, as long as I can be zany and whimsical, I’ll be happy.

So that’s all, right? Well, not really. ^_^ I’m still trying to form a punk rock band, and I might be a step closer to doing so. I’ve been in touch with a guitarist who’s moving to Detroit tomorrow, and we may jam this weekend to see if we can work together. I have high hopes, because we’re the same age and have very similar musical tastes. If we decide to start the Pineapple Brigade together, then we’ll just need a drummer and a singer, hopefully female. In the meantime, I’m still writing songs. I wrote two new songs over the past couple of weeks, deciding to just have fun and write the kind of jumpy, melodic tunes I like. Wish I could sing, but oh well, what can you do? ^_^

So that’s all, right? I mean, between researching literary agents, starting a new book (after outlining three separate projects), maybe starting a band, and writing more music, I should be pretty much booked up, right? Well, leave it to me to want to squeeze in another thing into my schedule ^_^;

While it’s still in its “I have a goofy idea” phase, I’m thinking of starting an e-zine. Something completely random, humorous, and observational. Something that’ll discuss politics, popular culture, not-so-popular culture, music, and technology. Ideally, I’d like to get together with my friends and publish regular articles, but I haven’t discussed this with anyone except my girlfriend yet. In any event, it’s still in its pre-pre-pre-planning stage, but I think it’d be something cool to do. And I think I already have a name for it. What is it? Something named after one of my favorite Polysics songs ^_^ That’s all I’ll say for now.

Anyway, December should be an interesting, fun, and busy month. And, oh, isn’t there some kind of holiday or something toward the end? ^^;

Turning 15 Again

So I get to blog about something other than writing again. Hmmm, the last time I did so, it was to write about a Polysics show I went to here in Detroit. And now, it’s to write…about the Polysics show I went to this last Saturday ^_^

For those of you who don’t know, Polysics is a four-piece band from Tokyo, Japan who can best be described as Devo with a distinct infusion of Japanese quirkiness. Their music is catchy, wild, and all over the place, with synthesized blips and beeps complementing mad guitar riffs and crunching bass lines while the singer, Hayashi, sings about everything from peach pies on the beach to digital coffee.

Well, they played here in Detroit on Saturday, and I was reminded of why I fell in love with them in the first place. They are, simply put, the best live band I’ve ever seen. It’s inspiring to see musicians throw themselves so completely into their performance. Hayashi is a madman on stage, jumping all over the place, screaming his lungs out, playing his guitar like his life depends on it. Fumi, the bassist, jams along with grit and bounce, plucking away at her red Yamaha and seemingly loving every minute of it. Kayo, the keyboardist extraordinaire, is the stoic, quiet, comic one in the back, the one who never cracks a smile, not even as she’s jumping up and down waving pompoms at us during “Peach Pie On The Beach.” It’s an awesome ensemble of musicians playing a brand of music that’s infectious, powerful, and outright quirky.

So why am I gushing over Polysics like a 15-year-old after his first rock concert? Maybe because I got to meet the band this time around! ^_^ As my friend James and I sat through the opening bands, I noticed Hayashi and Kayo at their merchandise stand. After much deliberation, I finally worked up the nerve to go up and say hello, and ask if they’d take their picture with me. What cool, friendly people they were! Not only did they agree, Hayashi actually puts me in between him and Kayo. How’s that for treating your fans with respect? About all I could think to do in my star-struckness was smile like a dolt and do the peace sign. As evidenced below…


But the biggest treat was meeting Fumi, their bassist. Anyone who knows me knows that I consider her my bass-playing muse. It was watching her onstage in 2005 that made me want to pick up the bass again. It was thanks to her that I wanted to try again to join a band and gig, even though I was already 32 years old. Just over a year after that show, I joined my first band. And our first show just happened to be at the same club where I first saw Fumi and Polysics. So I’ve wanted to meet Fumi ever since then, to thank her for inspiring and re-awakening my musical ambitions, and for being my bass-playing ‘sensei’.

And, oh…I have a Michigan-sized crush on her ^___^;

So imagine my delight (and high-school-boy-like nerves) when I finally saw Fumi walking around the club, and then go over to the merchandise stand. Once again, after much, much, much deliberation, I worked up the courage, went over, and reverted to my 15-year-old persona. And once again, I wasn’t disappointed. Fumi proved to be a very friendly, very warm person, and very eager to meet another of her fans. I got a chance to thank her for inspiring me. I got her autograph. I got to shake her hand. And, oh, I got our picture taken ^_____^

Sure, I stopped just short of telling her that I think she’s pretty as hell, but hey, there was no need to. Being able to meet her and the rest of Polysics was such a treat, and it went about as perfect as I could have ever imagined. There was no need to make things weird by telling her, “Duh, I think your really perty! Yuh-huh!”

I was also reminded on Sunday and Monday that I’m no longer 21 years old. I lost myself in the moment at the show, and thrashed, danced, moshed, and headbanged throughout. On Sunday and Monday, my sore body was saying, “Yeah, nice try, moron. You’re 35, and I’m going to make sure you remember that with a good dose of pain, soreness, and old-man-like ailments.” Ouch. I don’t remember hurting so much after a show. I don’t remember ever waking up in the middle of the night and feeling like my neck would snap if I so much as sneezed. Hell, it wasn’t even soreness; it was excruciating pain. Will that stop me from headbanging and moshing the next time? Of course…not ^_^

Anyway, that’s my annual “I love Polysics” gushing. While I’m at it, I just want to mention this. Um, Jaguar Love? The second band on that night? You know, your music was actually quite good. But guys, seriously, do yourselves a favor: get another singer. Their singer doesn’t sing, but rather screeches unintelligibly. Even between songs. If Donald Duck, Courtney Love, and Axel Rose had a child, and they fed this child nothing but sugar, caffeine, and crack, it’d result in Jaguar Love’s singer. I’m sorry, guys, I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but you need a singer that isn’t so damn painful!

Oh, and a special shout-out to Colleen, a wonderfully friendly woman I met at the show! Colleen, I’ll see you at the next Polysics show so we can dance and mosh once again!

Okay, let me go back to being 35 again… Going to Chicago next week to do the last bit of Inventing Vazquez related research, and to hopefully finish up the next rewrite. After that, it’s off to finding an agent. Oh boy…

The one thing you need if you’re going to be a writer

One of the things I hadn’t anticipated after publishing Solstice was the number of questions I’d hear from friends and strangers alike. How do you become a writer? How do you self-publish a book? What do I need to do to become a writer?

My answers are usually anticlimactically simple, maybe because I don’t think there’s any great science to it. How do you become a writer? By writing. How do you self-publish a book? By doing the research and legwork and understanding the risks of doing so. What do you need to do to become a writer? Like I said, write. About anything and everything.

Yet, there’s one thing, at least, that I can offer up as one of those little nuggets of wisdom I’ve picked up along the way. And it’s pure cliché, but it’s really true. Are you ready? Ahem…

Have thick skin. Very thick skin. And, oh, be open-minded.

There’s no way around it. No matter what you write, and no matter how well or how poorly you write, reader responses are never going to be universal. Some people will like your work. Others will love it. And others will hate it. So there’s no need to go about trying to please everyone. That’s impossible. All you can do is write something that makes you happy, and just make sure it’s the best that you can do.

But in the end, it’s just as important to understand that even harsh, belittling words about your work can serve a purpose.

Praise is fun, make no mistake. When Solstice received those first reviews from Booklist and Library Journal, I felt like I had wings. And when James Rundle over at SciFiNow magazine left a message on this blog, telling me he’d enjoyed the book and was going to review it in their next issue, well… The day the magazine hit bookshelves, I could barely keep myself from jumping up and down in the bookstore parking lot on my way to pick up a copy. And every time I’ve gotten e-mails or have read blogs or reviews by people who enjoyed the book, it really seems to validate the process. Trust me, few things will make you feel as happy as a reader taking the time to e-mail you to say that your book really spoke to them.

But the flipside is just as potent. Few things will feel more like a punch to the stomach as a reader taking the time to write about how pathetic your book was.

I was reminded of this recently when a user wrote a few unkind words about Solstice. When you get this kind of thing, I think it’s normal to feel a full gamut of emotions, not all of them positive.

When I read this review, I felt defensive. I took offense to his comment about how Solstice had been voted Feminist SF’s top obscure novel because I’d incessantly asked friends and family to vote for it (hmmm….Feminist SF itself encouraged the authors on that final list to lobby their friends and family to vote for them, but okay, I guess I misunderstood that part). I took offense that he’d trashed the book even though he didn’t finish reading it. And while I understood his frustrations with the writing and the main character, it didn’t make it any easier to stomach.

So there I was, feeling upset, until I remembered that little nugget of wisdom I mentioned earlier: have thick skin, and be open-minded.

In this day and age, the Internet will allow anyone to voice an opinion. And I think that’s a great thing, because literary criticism shouldn’t just be in the same hands year in and year out. I think it’s great that any one of us can get online and share our thoughts about what moved us, or what angered us. The gods know I do that enough on Quiet Earth now…

So, after putting things into context, and realizing the user was entitled to his opinion, the next wave of emotions kicked in. The more constructive, open-minded ones.

Like I said, you can’t ever please everyone, and there’s no sense in trying. But what you can do is objectively examine both positive and negative critiques, and work toward improving. As with everything else, you want to keep improving at what you do regardless.

For example, one of the consistent complaints I’ve heard about Solstice is its writing style and editing, or lack thereof. Well, there’s no way I can excuse this, really. Solstice was published on a shoestring budget (with less than half of what every self-publishing guru says is typically necessary), and I couldn’t afford the services of a professional editor. My girlfriend—also a writer—and myself edited multiple drafts side by side, doing our best to clean up the narrative. Personally, I think she did a fantastic job of pointing out areas where character development could be stronger. Io’s fixation with motherhood, for example, derived from my girlfriend’s suggestion that Io needed a greater sense of loss for us to gradually sympathize with her.

Did this make Solstice the best novel it could be? Of course not. I doubt any writer will say any draft is the absolute best it could be. Trust me, months later, you’ll pick up your perfectly published book, start reading, and find new things that could have been written better. (That’s why they say every piece of writing is ALWAYS work in progress.) And I know now, from going back and reading bits of Solstice, that it really did need another rewrite. I’ve learned a lot more about writing since then, and I’m already finding all these places in the novel where the writing could have been cleaner, the prose less convoluted, the descriptions less repetitive. I almost want to rewrite it now, for the sake of making it a better version, but content myself with the knowledge that its sequel will be better.

But, Solstice was the best I could do at the time, and while I know there’s lots of room for improvement, I’ve accepted the fact that it was a first novel. I’ve a lot to learn about my craft yet, and Solstice was my first attempt. I take some comfort in the fact that, as a first novel, it still received far more praise than I could have ever imagined. By all accounts, the book exceeded expectations.

But reviews like the one I pointed out remind me that, yes, I have lots of room for improvement. And therein lies the value of even the harshest critique. Ever since I read that review, I’ve gone back to my current novel, Inventing Vazquez, with renewed purpose. I’m pushing myself harder to make sure the writing is cleaner this time. That the prose is less wordy and less pretentious. I’m trying to ensure the narrative flow isn’t just clean, but entertaining. Because the novel is almost twice as long as Solstice, and I need to make sure people will actually want to read it.

I think I’ve spouted out nothing but common sense here, but I thought it was important to share regardless. Because the fact is, all us writers are going to get killed more often than not in the realm of literary criticism. Professional book reviewers and online readers alike won’t always like our work, and some will rip into us without mercy. They don’t care that you poured your heart and soul into your work—nor should they, because just because you poured your heart and soul into something doesn’t grant it immunity. But when they do rip into your work, just remember that it’s an opinion.

Don’t take it personally, because it’s highly unlikely the person was out to get you.

Don’t get angry, because now at least you have the impetus to want to do better on your next one.

Don’t get sad, because chances are other people did like your work. And if they’ve written to tell you so, go back and read their words as a reminder that not everyone hated your work.

Don’t start thinking you’re no good, because writing is an accomplishment that no one can take away from you, and it’s an accomplishment most people will never achieve. Feel proud about what you’ve done, and just try to do better.

And above all, don’t second-guess your decisions. Don’t think, “I shouldn’t have published that book,” or, “I should have waited a bit more,” because if we waited to write that perfect draft that would please everyone, well, there’s never be any books written.

Wow, I sure sound preachy! ^^; I don’t mean to, but I guess I know there are a lot of people out there who are fearful of writing precisely because they’re afraid of the negative feedback. Yes, negative feedback is tough to swallow, but ultimately, it makes you stronger. You just have to take the good with the bad, same as everything else. And you have to find the value in everything, even the reviews that say you shouldn’t ever be allowed near a computer again.

Annie and Her Dirt Bike, Japanese Rockers, a Mousy Latina, and Pineapples

Leave it to me to think that finalizing a 900+ page novel and writing for two web sites and being in a blues band and managing the sales and marketing of Solstice isn’t enough to keep myself busy with. No, apparently, I thought it’d be a bright idea to also take on the task of self-recording a pseudo-album.

But there I was, taking the last week of August and the first of September to record eight original songs and two covers using my Mac’s Garageband program, my good friend Brian’s Fender strat, my Fender bass, and some really shoddy drum work (at least until I decided to let the computer’s drum tracks do it for me) to finalize my so-called album. Oh, and some really, really bad singing on my behalf. But hey, I set it out as a goal for 2008: record the songs I’d written last year, before I forgot them or gave up on them. So there I was, doing just that.

The result was a somewhat rough mix of eclectic tunes, some of them straight-out punk rock, others more indie/alternative, and two odd covers (The Bluehearts’ “Linda Linda,” and an old Spanish song entitled “Ni Tu Ni Nadie”). I consider it a first-draft album, mostly because my guitar work is sloppy, and my vocals, well, they’re just plain bad. But at least I came up with a goofy album and band name for it! The band? The Pineapple Brigade. The album title? Pineapple Diplomacy. It makes sense. Really!

Still, my hope is to some day get a band together, and recording this proto-demo was a first step toward that. While I’m in a blues band now, my long-term goal is to form a punk/pop band to play the kind of upbeat, infectious, melodic music that I just love from bands like Dirt Bike Annie, The Snow Fairies, Deerhoof, Polysics, and GO!GO!7188! And I hope to form a band with people who just want to have fun and go nuts onstage. This isn’t about shooting for fame, fortune, or the sex-drugs-and-rock-and-roll lifestyle. Certainly not at my age! ^_^ It’s about having fun, and loving the music, and occasionally putting on a crazy, energetic show at the local clubs. Because I really miss playing rock onstage, losing myself in the music, and just thrashing about like it’s no one’s business.

So sometime next week, I’ll finally be updating and setting up my MySpace page (yes, I actually have one), and uploading a few of my original songs, just for the hell of it. I hope, at some point, I can point prospective musicians toward it so they get a sense of what I like playing, and then move on from there. Because it’s so hard to find people out here in Michigan who even know who Dirt Bike Annie and GO!GO!7188! are, and I figure the best way to show them what I mean by ‘upbeat punk/pop music with a Japanese-rock flavor’ is by playing it! ^_^

Anyway, enough babbling about the Pineapple Diplomacy proto-demo.

Still plugging away with the new rewrite of Inventing Vazquez. I’m almost at the half-way point, so I’m confident that I’ll begin an agent search sometime in October or November. Recording the album really did divert a lot of time away from the book, so I’m clamping down and giving Liliana’s story the focused attention it deserves.

Still, it’s an amazingly fun and rewarding process doing this rewrite. They say that a book is always a work in progress, and working on the rewrite, I have to emphatically agree. It’s amazing how many new ideas pop out at you where you least expect them. Ideas for new jokes, quips, or more effective prose in spots you once thought were perfectly fine. I’ve stumbled into new opportunities during this rewrite, finding new spots where Liliana can demonstrate a bit more spunk and snark than her earlier draft incarnations. Although her story follows a sort of mousy-girl-finds-her-spine narrative, her actual narration was always meant to demonstrate she had a lot more brains than her early exploits suggested. Now, I think that’s finally coming out with some carefully-timed quips, sarcastic commentaries, and real-time reactions to the events unfolding before her. I guess time will tell if Liliana and I can pull it off. But I’m absolutely adoring her character, and I hope future readers will too.

Anyway, I’ll be posting my MySpace info soon, in case you want to hear some really rough punk/pop music, and some atrocious singing.

Now, I’m off to build an aircraft carrier or something.

It's official! Solstice is obscure!

Who would have thought? Solstice was voted the Top Obscure Feminist SF Novel at Feminist SF – The Blog!

I wanted to take this chance to thank everyone who voted for my novel. Thank you so much! The surprising success Solstice has managed would never have been possible without the help and support of you, my friends, family, and readers. And a special thanks to the folks over at Feminist SF for holding this vote.

So what’s next? Well, hopefully this will give Solstice some much-needed exposure, now that things have been kind of quiet for it for a while. Regardless, I think making it to this Top 10 list will only help down the road, especially when contacting an agent regarding Inventing Vazquez.

Speaking of which, I’m about 20 percent through the next re-write, and pleased with the progress and results. I’m focusing now on making the writing as tight and descriptive as possible, and am confident I’ll have an agent-ready draft within a couple of months. That’s the hope, anyway.

Unfortunately, I seem to have a real knack for distracting myself with other fun stuff. Aside from now writing for Urban Molecule, I’ve officially joined another band. Well, it’s the same line-up I was in with last year at the blues competition, but this time we’re under a new name and a new direction. And, if that weren’t enough, I’ve finally figured out the wonders of recording music on Garageband on my Mac, and have started recording my own songs. It’s amazing what you can do with a little laptop and a $90 pre-amp… I’m really excited about this, because one of my goals for 2008 was to record my own ‘album’, and I think now I have the motivation and gear to do so. Plus, I relish the challenge of self-recording an album and playing all the instruments myself. Since I’m nowhere near as good a guitarist or drummer as I am a bassist, I’m sure it’ll sound like crap, but I’m not too worried. It’s not like I’m going to make a career out of it ^_^;

Anyway, thank you all again for helping to give Solstice this humble recognition.

Pushing yourself

As I wrote in an earlier blog entry, I was starting the next set of revisions for Inventing Vazquez. And I was moving right along, until I got some feedback from my friend, Lisa Alvarado. We had a chance to discuss the first four chapters, and her critique really opened my eyes to something I might have lost sight of along the way: sometimes you really have to push yourself to get better at what you do.

After our chat, I went back, and started noticing all these little things she’d pointed out, and realized, holy crap, this draft really needs work! And so, I restarted my edits from scratch. And I do mean scratch.

One of the things I did was ‘sit down’ with my protagonist, Liliana, and had a nice chat about her past. It’s strange that, after two drafts and 900 pages (1800 if you count the drafts separately), I hadn’t given much thought as to why Liliana is so afraid to talk. I’d attributed her problems to self-consciousness about her mousy voice. And my girlfriend, bless her heart, had been clamoring (in her own unique way) for weeks about how Liliana needed more of a reason for her fear of talking. So Liliana and I performed a bit of historical psychoanalysis. And it turns out, she didn’t have as pleasant a childhood as I initially thought.

I took a couple of days to just map out her life’s trajectory, imagining a personal history for her that involved a three-year trauma named middle school. By the end of it, I was content that Liliana not only had the necessary vulnerabilities to round out her narrative, but that she had a new complexity of character that would benefit other characters as well (especially her obnoxious big sister).

Aside from Liliana’s character, Lisa also encouraged me to improve my descriptive writing, which relied too heavily on adjectives and adverbs. “Paint a picture for the reader,” she advised me. She’s pushing me to push myself, to work harder to make a more vivid, colorful narrative to engage and immerse the reader. And I think that's the best thing about someone taking the time to critique your work: a critique isn't about inflating egos or crushing them. It's about reminding you that there's always room for improvement, and that if you really value what you do, you'll work harder to improve what you do.

I have no doubt that Inventing Vazquez is going to be an infinitely better novel thanks to the input Lisa and my girlfriend have given. Because it’s one thing to have great ideas and transcribe them on paper (or a word processor document). But it’s another thing to have caring people make you realize that you can demand more of yourself, that you can work a little harder and improve the quality of your writing to make sure you’re writing the best book you can.

Moving forward, I’m about 10 percent into the new rewrite, and confident that the next draft will be very strong. And I’m jumping with excitement about starting the sequel, Electing Choi. I haven’t done too much work on that (aside from writing a brief intro), but I know it’ll be a project that will allow me to expand upon the Inventing Vazquez storyline while taking on another issue I think is important.

I’m not sure when I’ll start looking for an agent in earnest, but I guess I should start compiling a list.

Keeping busy on multiple fronts, as usual ^_^ While I’m still trying to be a film reviewer for Quiet Earth, it looks like I’ll also be a columnist for Urban Molecule. My first column should be up soon, and I’m already working on the next one. Having recently decided that my humorous, quasi-facetious, snarky writing is the style I’m most comfortable with, I’m running with it and having lots of fun in the process. Besides, laughter is good. And the world’s a depressing enough place without me writing about ending it, huh? ^^;

And, because I really don’t have enough to do, I’ve also joined a new band with some old friends. I’ll be playing bass again for a blues band here in Detroit, so there goes any prospect of sleeping anytime soon ^___^;