Another trick to writing: Remember it’s just a draft

I got to page 27 last night of Electing Choi, and I ran into my first genuine moment of, “Oh gods, this sucks!” The scene I’m currently working on has a lot going on, with a lot of characters vying for valuable screen time, and so far, I think I’ve made a mess of it. And as the first traces of frustration and self-doubt began to creep in, I decided to call it a night. Which is, I think, the best thing any of us can do whenever we come across a moment of self-doubt with regards to something we otherwise know we can do.

So this morning, as I’m prepping for work, I came across a couple of new ideas for the scene, and a new gag to throw in (remember, it’s a satirical comedy, so the funnier I can make it, the better). Just goes to show that, sometimes, you really do just need to step back, take a deep breath, and take a fresh look at things the next day.

But more importantly, it goes back to something that should be common sense among all writers, and that somehow eludes many, especially new or aspiring writers. And that is this: you’ll do yourself a great favor if you just concede that your first draft will suck. There, I said it ^_^

A first draft is called a first draft for a reason. It’s your first stab at something you hope will be great. But few things, if any, are great their first time around, and writing is hardly one of them. Even the most experienced writers, I’m sure, will write third and fourth drafts of something that are infinitely better than their first draft. Which is to say, a first draft is supposed to be bad, crappy, and lacking in detail and depth. It’s supposed to be something that makes you think, “This could work, but I gotta put a lot more work into it.” That’s what the second and third drafts are for ^_^

Like I said, this should be common sense among all of us calling ourselves writers. But it still astounds me how many aspiring writers out there get so bogged down by the notion that their first pages of their first chapter of their first ever piece of writing have to be the best writing known to man. They get mired in this perfectionist, high-pressure mindset, and when that first draft reads like a first draft (i.e., it’s terrible), they get discouraged and oftentimes stop writing for a while, if not for good. And that’s the biggest mistake anyone can make. You have to be patient with yourself, and understand that it will take time to craft something that's good, and that you can't just give up because you're not writing Shakespearean verses your first time around. Remember, it's about being kind to yourself.

With Electing Choi, I definitely hate the last five pages I wrote. But you know what? They’re a start, and when I go back and start the second draft, I’ll make them better. There’s no need for me to sulk and think, “I suck at this, I better stop because this one scene sucks so bad,” and there’s no need for me to spend the next month just trying to hammer out this one complex scene. Better to just accept that this first draft is going to be bad, move on, and keep pace with my writing goals.

So there you have it. Another kernel of five-cent wisdom from a writer who sounds like he’s figured everything out but who, in fact, doesn’t even know where he’s standing sometimes.

In other news, I’m happy to say that it looks like The Pineapple Brigade is active ^_^ I jammed with the guitarist, Eugene, on Sunday, and we definitely clicked. Not just musically, but personally, which is great. Not to mention, he knows who bands like GO!GO!7188! are, and he liked the Dirt Bike Annie stuff I gave him, so we’re definitely on the same page musically ^^; We’re still trying to figure out our approach, but we’ll start up in January and take things from there. Needless to say, I’m excited.

I also recently heard from two people regarding Solstice. One of them found me on Facebook and complimented the book, which was a such a pleasant surprise. And the other is actually an old friend whom I used to correspond with back when I used to maintain an Anime site, Senseless Solutions. It was incredible to hear from her again, and even more incredible to hear she bought the book, read it in two days, and loved it. Wow ^_^; Well, to both of you, thank you so much. You really made my day, and reminded me that, hey, the novel wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t too bad, and I sort of kind of maybe accomplished something kind of maybe perhaps nifty by self-publishing it ^_^ Or not ^^;;

But Inventing Vazquez won’t be self-published, that’s for sure. And I hope to start sending out those queries to literary agents in January. Oh wow, that’s going to be fun…

Anyway, it’s Christmas Eve, so here’s a happy holiday greeting to all of you who read this blog! May your holidays be healthy, safe, happy, and thoroughly enjoyed in the company of family and friends. May the new year bring you all the good fortune, changes, and happiness you want. And may we be always thankful for the all the good things in our lives, including the food on our plates, the roofs over our heads, and the affection of those who call themselves our friends and family. Cheers!

Agents, Sequels, and Pineapples. Oh my.

So I finally burned through most of my excess vacation time, and got quite a bit done. I began the process of researching literary agents, and came up with some very promising leads. I drafted both a query letter and a six-page synopsis for Inventing Vazquez. I still have to proof the first three chapters meticulously, and have them ready to go. My plan, now, is to send out the first batch of queries in early January. And then pray really really hard to the gods and the universe that, this time, a literary agent will want to work with me.

I also started the sequel to Inventing Vazquez, Electing Choi, in earnest. In fact, I completed both chapter ones (a little joke there, thanks to the dual narratives that start the story). My goal is to have the first 30 pages of Electing Choi written by the end of December (you know, a page a day, more or less), and so far, I’m at page 15, so I’m more or less on track. And I’m really excited about this project, not just because I get to work again with Liliana and her crew, but because of the plot twists I’m looking forward to writing down.

I’m going home for the holidays, and I’ll probably get more work done there. I think I’ll focus more then on editing the samples chapters and the query literature, to make sure I’m ready to go when I come back home in January. I hope to also map out the ideas and general direction for the e-zine I want to start, and then ask my friends and bro to join in the mayhem and help me get it off the ground. Have to think more on the title, though. The one I wanted is kind of already taken ^_^;

I also had the chance to compose four new songs, three of which I still need to write lyrics for. Ugh, that’s one thing I struggle with, mostly because I never know what to sing about. Heh, ‘sing’. There’s a lie if I ever said one. The truth is, I’m getting more and more frustrated with my inability to sing well. One of my new songs, Room I-94, I did write lyrics for, and I tried singing it. And I couldn’t stand it. I really need to find a female musician/singer to do these songs. Because I find myself hating my own songs just because I kill them with my crummy vocals! ^^;

But things are looking interesting for The Pineapple Brigade. For one thing, it’s now my sole musical focus. Following all kinds of misunderstanding, I was unceremoniously dropped from the blues band I was with on Sunday. Via voicemail. Because that’s the mature way of handling such things. I was pissed for a while on Sunday, not because I’d been let go (like I always said, blues was never my thing), but because of the way it was handled. It really irritates me that people can’t seem to tell you things in person. In person, they tell you things are great, you’re great, hey, let’s stay together, we love to have you, bla bla bla. But when they decide to contradict everything they told you in person, and leave you a voicemail saying, “Yeah, I’ve hired a friend to play bass, thanks,” you realize you’re probably better off not working with them. Dear gods, what ever happened to common courtesy and manners?

Still, after blowing off some steam and leaving that guy a voicemail calling him out for his lack of professionalism, I saw things in a different light. Now I think this is the universe’s way of saying I’m supposed to be working to make The Pineapple Brigade happen. That I shouldn’t have been spending time on a musical project my heart simply wasn’t into. That now’s the time to focus back in on the music I love and want to play live. And I’ve got a great foundation to build on. I have 12 original songs ready to go. That’s enough not just for a set, but for an album. So maybe now’s the time to keep working on those songs, and some new songs, and work toward making The Pineapple Brigade more than just a ‘project’.

The other thing is that I’ve been in touch with a really cool guitarist who’s recently moved to Detroit. While we haven’t jammed yet, I have high hopes that we’ll be able to work together, now that our musical tastes are virtually identical, we’re the same age, we’re both experienced musicians, and we have the same attitude and passion toward music. If he and I decide to start The Pineapple Brigade in earnest, well, it’ll be a critical first step toward making the whole band idea come true.

So that’s what’s been going on. In other words, nothing much, really. Anywayz, stay warm, folks. And remember: you don’t win friends with salad.

The end of one project, the start of many

Well, it took me longer than I thought it would, but I finished the new draft of Inventing Vazquez on Sunday. I think this version is getting close to the final one. I still need to go over it again and do another round of wordsmithing, fact checking, and tweaking, but I think the major changes are done. At least, I hope so. I’ve got two test readers this time, and I’ll be holding my breath to see what they think.

It’s an exciting time. Not only because I’m a step closer to completing Inventing Vazquez, but because I now have some time to do other things. As is my habit when finishing a draft, I’m shelving it for a month so I can look at it with fresh eyes in January. And in the meantime, I’ve got lots of free time, mostly because I have a lot of days off I have to burn through at work.

So I’m planning to do several things starting this Thursday. For starters, I’m going to start compiling a list of literary agents, and start prepping the query packages. I really hope that, with the groundwork I’ve already done with Solstice, with my web site, with the book reviews, and the on-the-side writing projects for Quiet Earth and Urban Molecule, I’ll have a better shot at landing an agent. Well, that, and I genuinely think Inventing Vazquez is a better novel with much better writing. Plus it’s funny, so at least I won’t be turning off agents with my “My novel is about the end of the world!” approach! ^_^;

I’m even more excited about the writing projects I have lined up. I have three: The Mourning Syndrome, Electing Choi (the sequel to Inventing Vazquez), and an untitled dark comedy project I’m considering. Since I can’t work on all three at the same time, what I’ll be doing is outlining each, and see which one I feel most enthusiastic about. My guess is it’ll be Electing Choi, because The Mourning Syndrome is depressing end-of-world fare, and I’ve really enjoyed the zany, free-spirited writing style of Inventing Vazquez. But the third project, a sort of road-trip narrative, has its appeal, and so I’ll map it out and see if it’s a viable project at this time. I guess, as long as I can be zany and whimsical, I’ll be happy.

So that’s all, right? Well, not really. ^_^ I’m still trying to form a punk rock band, and I might be a step closer to doing so. I’ve been in touch with a guitarist who’s moving to Detroit tomorrow, and we may jam this weekend to see if we can work together. I have high hopes, because we’re the same age and have very similar musical tastes. If we decide to start the Pineapple Brigade together, then we’ll just need a drummer and a singer, hopefully female. In the meantime, I’m still writing songs. I wrote two new songs over the past couple of weeks, deciding to just have fun and write the kind of jumpy, melodic tunes I like. Wish I could sing, but oh well, what can you do? ^_^

So that’s all, right? I mean, between researching literary agents, starting a new book (after outlining three separate projects), maybe starting a band, and writing more music, I should be pretty much booked up, right? Well, leave it to me to want to squeeze in another thing into my schedule ^_^;

While it’s still in its “I have a goofy idea” phase, I’m thinking of starting an e-zine. Something completely random, humorous, and observational. Something that’ll discuss politics, popular culture, not-so-popular culture, music, and technology. Ideally, I’d like to get together with my friends and publish regular articles, but I haven’t discussed this with anyone except my girlfriend yet. In any event, it’s still in its pre-pre-pre-planning stage, but I think it’d be something cool to do. And I think I already have a name for it. What is it? Something named after one of my favorite Polysics songs ^_^ That’s all I’ll say for now.

Anyway, December should be an interesting, fun, and busy month. And, oh, isn’t there some kind of holiday or something toward the end? ^^;

Turning 15 Again

So I get to blog about something other than writing again. Hmmm, the last time I did so, it was to write about a Polysics show I went to here in Detroit. And now, it’s to write…about the Polysics show I went to this last Saturday ^_^

For those of you who don’t know, Polysics is a four-piece band from Tokyo, Japan who can best be described as Devo with a distinct infusion of Japanese quirkiness. Their music is catchy, wild, and all over the place, with synthesized blips and beeps complementing mad guitar riffs and crunching bass lines while the singer, Hayashi, sings about everything from peach pies on the beach to digital coffee.

Well, they played here in Detroit on Saturday, and I was reminded of why I fell in love with them in the first place. They are, simply put, the best live band I’ve ever seen. It’s inspiring to see musicians throw themselves so completely into their performance. Hayashi is a madman on stage, jumping all over the place, screaming his lungs out, playing his guitar like his life depends on it. Fumi, the bassist, jams along with grit and bounce, plucking away at her red Yamaha and seemingly loving every minute of it. Kayo, the keyboardist extraordinaire, is the stoic, quiet, comic one in the back, the one who never cracks a smile, not even as she’s jumping up and down waving pompoms at us during “Peach Pie On The Beach.” It’s an awesome ensemble of musicians playing a brand of music that’s infectious, powerful, and outright quirky.

So why am I gushing over Polysics like a 15-year-old after his first rock concert? Maybe because I got to meet the band this time around! ^_^ As my friend James and I sat through the opening bands, I noticed Hayashi and Kayo at their merchandise stand. After much deliberation, I finally worked up the nerve to go up and say hello, and ask if they’d take their picture with me. What cool, friendly people they were! Not only did they agree, Hayashi actually puts me in between him and Kayo. How’s that for treating your fans with respect? About all I could think to do in my star-struckness was smile like a dolt and do the peace sign. As evidenced below…


But the biggest treat was meeting Fumi, their bassist. Anyone who knows me knows that I consider her my bass-playing muse. It was watching her onstage in 2005 that made me want to pick up the bass again. It was thanks to her that I wanted to try again to join a band and gig, even though I was already 32 years old. Just over a year after that show, I joined my first band. And our first show just happened to be at the same club where I first saw Fumi and Polysics. So I’ve wanted to meet Fumi ever since then, to thank her for inspiring and re-awakening my musical ambitions, and for being my bass-playing ‘sensei’.

And, oh…I have a Michigan-sized crush on her ^___^;

So imagine my delight (and high-school-boy-like nerves) when I finally saw Fumi walking around the club, and then go over to the merchandise stand. Once again, after much, much, much deliberation, I worked up the courage, went over, and reverted to my 15-year-old persona. And once again, I wasn’t disappointed. Fumi proved to be a very friendly, very warm person, and very eager to meet another of her fans. I got a chance to thank her for inspiring me. I got her autograph. I got to shake her hand. And, oh, I got our picture taken ^_____^

Sure, I stopped just short of telling her that I think she’s pretty as hell, but hey, there was no need to. Being able to meet her and the rest of Polysics was such a treat, and it went about as perfect as I could have ever imagined. There was no need to make things weird by telling her, “Duh, I think your really perty! Yuh-huh!”

I was also reminded on Sunday and Monday that I’m no longer 21 years old. I lost myself in the moment at the show, and thrashed, danced, moshed, and headbanged throughout. On Sunday and Monday, my sore body was saying, “Yeah, nice try, moron. You’re 35, and I’m going to make sure you remember that with a good dose of pain, soreness, and old-man-like ailments.” Ouch. I don’t remember hurting so much after a show. I don’t remember ever waking up in the middle of the night and feeling like my neck would snap if I so much as sneezed. Hell, it wasn’t even soreness; it was excruciating pain. Will that stop me from headbanging and moshing the next time? Of course…not ^_^

Anyway, that’s my annual “I love Polysics” gushing. While I’m at it, I just want to mention this. Um, Jaguar Love? The second band on that night? You know, your music was actually quite good. But guys, seriously, do yourselves a favor: get another singer. Their singer doesn’t sing, but rather screeches unintelligibly. Even between songs. If Donald Duck, Courtney Love, and Axel Rose had a child, and they fed this child nothing but sugar, caffeine, and crack, it’d result in Jaguar Love’s singer. I’m sorry, guys, I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but you need a singer that isn’t so damn painful!

Oh, and a special shout-out to Colleen, a wonderfully friendly woman I met at the show! Colleen, I’ll see you at the next Polysics show so we can dance and mosh once again!

Okay, let me go back to being 35 again… Going to Chicago next week to do the last bit of Inventing Vazquez related research, and to hopefully finish up the next rewrite. After that, it’s off to finding an agent. Oh boy…

The one thing you need if you’re going to be a writer

One of the things I hadn’t anticipated after publishing Solstice was the number of questions I’d hear from friends and strangers alike. How do you become a writer? How do you self-publish a book? What do I need to do to become a writer?

My answers are usually anticlimactically simple, maybe because I don’t think there’s any great science to it. How do you become a writer? By writing. How do you self-publish a book? By doing the research and legwork and understanding the risks of doing so. What do you need to do to become a writer? Like I said, write. About anything and everything.

Yet, there’s one thing, at least, that I can offer up as one of those little nuggets of wisdom I’ve picked up along the way. And it’s pure cliché, but it’s really true. Are you ready? Ahem…

Have thick skin. Very thick skin. And, oh, be open-minded.

There’s no way around it. No matter what you write, and no matter how well or how poorly you write, reader responses are never going to be universal. Some people will like your work. Others will love it. And others will hate it. So there’s no need to go about trying to please everyone. That’s impossible. All you can do is write something that makes you happy, and just make sure it’s the best that you can do.

But in the end, it’s just as important to understand that even harsh, belittling words about your work can serve a purpose.

Praise is fun, make no mistake. When Solstice received those first reviews from Booklist and Library Journal, I felt like I had wings. And when James Rundle over at SciFiNow magazine left a message on this blog, telling me he’d enjoyed the book and was going to review it in their next issue, well… The day the magazine hit bookshelves, I could barely keep myself from jumping up and down in the bookstore parking lot on my way to pick up a copy. And every time I’ve gotten e-mails or have read blogs or reviews by people who enjoyed the book, it really seems to validate the process. Trust me, few things will make you feel as happy as a reader taking the time to e-mail you to say that your book really spoke to them.

But the flipside is just as potent. Few things will feel more like a punch to the stomach as a reader taking the time to write about how pathetic your book was.

I was reminded of this recently when a user wrote a few unkind words about Solstice. When you get this kind of thing, I think it’s normal to feel a full gamut of emotions, not all of them positive.

When I read this review, I felt defensive. I took offense to his comment about how Solstice had been voted Feminist SF’s top obscure novel because I’d incessantly asked friends and family to vote for it (hmmm….Feminist SF itself encouraged the authors on that final list to lobby their friends and family to vote for them, but okay, I guess I misunderstood that part). I took offense that he’d trashed the book even though he didn’t finish reading it. And while I understood his frustrations with the writing and the main character, it didn’t make it any easier to stomach.

So there I was, feeling upset, until I remembered that little nugget of wisdom I mentioned earlier: have thick skin, and be open-minded.

In this day and age, the Internet will allow anyone to voice an opinion. And I think that’s a great thing, because literary criticism shouldn’t just be in the same hands year in and year out. I think it’s great that any one of us can get online and share our thoughts about what moved us, or what angered us. The gods know I do that enough on Quiet Earth now…

So, after putting things into context, and realizing the user was entitled to his opinion, the next wave of emotions kicked in. The more constructive, open-minded ones.

Like I said, you can’t ever please everyone, and there’s no sense in trying. But what you can do is objectively examine both positive and negative critiques, and work toward improving. As with everything else, you want to keep improving at what you do regardless.

For example, one of the consistent complaints I’ve heard about Solstice is its writing style and editing, or lack thereof. Well, there’s no way I can excuse this, really. Solstice was published on a shoestring budget (with less than half of what every self-publishing guru says is typically necessary), and I couldn’t afford the services of a professional editor. My girlfriend—also a writer—and myself edited multiple drafts side by side, doing our best to clean up the narrative. Personally, I think she did a fantastic job of pointing out areas where character development could be stronger. Io’s fixation with motherhood, for example, derived from my girlfriend’s suggestion that Io needed a greater sense of loss for us to gradually sympathize with her.

Did this make Solstice the best novel it could be? Of course not. I doubt any writer will say any draft is the absolute best it could be. Trust me, months later, you’ll pick up your perfectly published book, start reading, and find new things that could have been written better. (That’s why they say every piece of writing is ALWAYS work in progress.) And I know now, from going back and reading bits of Solstice, that it really did need another rewrite. I’ve learned a lot more about writing since then, and I’m already finding all these places in the novel where the writing could have been cleaner, the prose less convoluted, the descriptions less repetitive. I almost want to rewrite it now, for the sake of making it a better version, but content myself with the knowledge that its sequel will be better.

But, Solstice was the best I could do at the time, and while I know there’s lots of room for improvement, I’ve accepted the fact that it was a first novel. I’ve a lot to learn about my craft yet, and Solstice was my first attempt. I take some comfort in the fact that, as a first novel, it still received far more praise than I could have ever imagined. By all accounts, the book exceeded expectations.

But reviews like the one I pointed out remind me that, yes, I have lots of room for improvement. And therein lies the value of even the harshest critique. Ever since I read that review, I’ve gone back to my current novel, Inventing Vazquez, with renewed purpose. I’m pushing myself harder to make sure the writing is cleaner this time. That the prose is less wordy and less pretentious. I’m trying to ensure the narrative flow isn’t just clean, but entertaining. Because the novel is almost twice as long as Solstice, and I need to make sure people will actually want to read it.

I think I’ve spouted out nothing but common sense here, but I thought it was important to share regardless. Because the fact is, all us writers are going to get killed more often than not in the realm of literary criticism. Professional book reviewers and online readers alike won’t always like our work, and some will rip into us without mercy. They don’t care that you poured your heart and soul into your work—nor should they, because just because you poured your heart and soul into something doesn’t grant it immunity. But when they do rip into your work, just remember that it’s an opinion.

Don’t take it personally, because it’s highly unlikely the person was out to get you.

Don’t get angry, because now at least you have the impetus to want to do better on your next one.

Don’t get sad, because chances are other people did like your work. And if they’ve written to tell you so, go back and read their words as a reminder that not everyone hated your work.

Don’t start thinking you’re no good, because writing is an accomplishment that no one can take away from you, and it’s an accomplishment most people will never achieve. Feel proud about what you’ve done, and just try to do better.

And above all, don’t second-guess your decisions. Don’t think, “I shouldn’t have published that book,” or, “I should have waited a bit more,” because if we waited to write that perfect draft that would please everyone, well, there’s never be any books written.

Wow, I sure sound preachy! ^^; I don’t mean to, but I guess I know there are a lot of people out there who are fearful of writing precisely because they’re afraid of the negative feedback. Yes, negative feedback is tough to swallow, but ultimately, it makes you stronger. You just have to take the good with the bad, same as everything else. And you have to find the value in everything, even the reviews that say you shouldn’t ever be allowed near a computer again.

The Pineapple Brigade is Active!

At long last, I've posted three of my songs on a new MySpace page.
If you'd like to hear what my would-be band, The Pineapple Brigade, sounds like, check it out at www.myspace.com/thepineapplebrigade!

Just remember, I'm primarily a bassist. Not a guitarist. Not a drummer. And CERTAINLY not a singer! ^^; My singing is painfully bad, but it's the best I can do for now. Hopefully, I can someday get a band together, with real guitarists, and a real singer!

Until then, please don't laugh too hard!

Annie and Her Dirt Bike, Japanese Rockers, a Mousy Latina, and Pineapples

Leave it to me to think that finalizing a 900+ page novel and writing for two web sites and being in a blues band and managing the sales and marketing of Solstice isn’t enough to keep myself busy with. No, apparently, I thought it’d be a bright idea to also take on the task of self-recording a pseudo-album.

But there I was, taking the last week of August and the first of September to record eight original songs and two covers using my Mac’s Garageband program, my good friend Brian’s Fender strat, my Fender bass, and some really shoddy drum work (at least until I decided to let the computer’s drum tracks do it for me) to finalize my so-called album. Oh, and some really, really bad singing on my behalf. But hey, I set it out as a goal for 2008: record the songs I’d written last year, before I forgot them or gave up on them. So there I was, doing just that.

The result was a somewhat rough mix of eclectic tunes, some of them straight-out punk rock, others more indie/alternative, and two odd covers (The Bluehearts’ “Linda Linda,” and an old Spanish song entitled “Ni Tu Ni Nadie”). I consider it a first-draft album, mostly because my guitar work is sloppy, and my vocals, well, they’re just plain bad. But at least I came up with a goofy album and band name for it! The band? The Pineapple Brigade. The album title? Pineapple Diplomacy. It makes sense. Really!

Still, my hope is to some day get a band together, and recording this proto-demo was a first step toward that. While I’m in a blues band now, my long-term goal is to form a punk/pop band to play the kind of upbeat, infectious, melodic music that I just love from bands like Dirt Bike Annie, The Snow Fairies, Deerhoof, Polysics, and GO!GO!7188! And I hope to form a band with people who just want to have fun and go nuts onstage. This isn’t about shooting for fame, fortune, or the sex-drugs-and-rock-and-roll lifestyle. Certainly not at my age! ^_^ It’s about having fun, and loving the music, and occasionally putting on a crazy, energetic show at the local clubs. Because I really miss playing rock onstage, losing myself in the music, and just thrashing about like it’s no one’s business.

So sometime next week, I’ll finally be updating and setting up my MySpace page (yes, I actually have one), and uploading a few of my original songs, just for the hell of it. I hope, at some point, I can point prospective musicians toward it so they get a sense of what I like playing, and then move on from there. Because it’s so hard to find people out here in Michigan who even know who Dirt Bike Annie and GO!GO!7188! are, and I figure the best way to show them what I mean by ‘upbeat punk/pop music with a Japanese-rock flavor’ is by playing it! ^_^

Anyway, enough babbling about the Pineapple Diplomacy proto-demo.

Still plugging away with the new rewrite of Inventing Vazquez. I’m almost at the half-way point, so I’m confident that I’ll begin an agent search sometime in October or November. Recording the album really did divert a lot of time away from the book, so I’m clamping down and giving Liliana’s story the focused attention it deserves.

Still, it’s an amazingly fun and rewarding process doing this rewrite. They say that a book is always a work in progress, and working on the rewrite, I have to emphatically agree. It’s amazing how many new ideas pop out at you where you least expect them. Ideas for new jokes, quips, or more effective prose in spots you once thought were perfectly fine. I’ve stumbled into new opportunities during this rewrite, finding new spots where Liliana can demonstrate a bit more spunk and snark than her earlier draft incarnations. Although her story follows a sort of mousy-girl-finds-her-spine narrative, her actual narration was always meant to demonstrate she had a lot more brains than her early exploits suggested. Now, I think that’s finally coming out with some carefully-timed quips, sarcastic commentaries, and real-time reactions to the events unfolding before her. I guess time will tell if Liliana and I can pull it off. But I’m absolutely adoring her character, and I hope future readers will too.

Anyway, I’ll be posting my MySpace info soon, in case you want to hear some really rough punk/pop music, and some atrocious singing.

Now, I’m off to build an aircraft carrier or something.

It's official! Solstice is obscure!

Who would have thought? Solstice was voted the Top Obscure Feminist SF Novel at Feminist SF – The Blog!

I wanted to take this chance to thank everyone who voted for my novel. Thank you so much! The surprising success Solstice has managed would never have been possible without the help and support of you, my friends, family, and readers. And a special thanks to the folks over at Feminist SF for holding this vote.

So what’s next? Well, hopefully this will give Solstice some much-needed exposure, now that things have been kind of quiet for it for a while. Regardless, I think making it to this Top 10 list will only help down the road, especially when contacting an agent regarding Inventing Vazquez.

Speaking of which, I’m about 20 percent through the next re-write, and pleased with the progress and results. I’m focusing now on making the writing as tight and descriptive as possible, and am confident I’ll have an agent-ready draft within a couple of months. That’s the hope, anyway.

Unfortunately, I seem to have a real knack for distracting myself with other fun stuff. Aside from now writing for Urban Molecule, I’ve officially joined another band. Well, it’s the same line-up I was in with last year at the blues competition, but this time we’re under a new name and a new direction. And, if that weren’t enough, I’ve finally figured out the wonders of recording music on Garageband on my Mac, and have started recording my own songs. It’s amazing what you can do with a little laptop and a $90 pre-amp… I’m really excited about this, because one of my goals for 2008 was to record my own ‘album’, and I think now I have the motivation and gear to do so. Plus, I relish the challenge of self-recording an album and playing all the instruments myself. Since I’m nowhere near as good a guitarist or drummer as I am a bassist, I’m sure it’ll sound like crap, but I’m not too worried. It’s not like I’m going to make a career out of it ^_^;

Anyway, thank you all again for helping to give Solstice this humble recognition.

Something new

I mentioned a while back that I would start writing for a new e-zine, Urban Molecule. In case you haven’t checked out the site, you should. It’s a very hip, very edgy publication that aims to give voice to invisible artists and give exposure to art, literature, and issues we normally won’t hear about in mainstream media. The core writers are an intelligent, observant, and culturally savvy group, and all of them come from different walks of life and perspectives to bring a real diversity of thought to the publication. The editor-in-chief, Christopher De La Torre, is an astounding individual who brings his artistic and scientific backgrounds to bear, and who is working tirelessly to nurture his young but wonderful e-zine.

Which leaves me at a loss as to why I was asked to write for it ^_^; Regardless, I consider it a real honor to be able to take part in this endeavor.

Christopher asked me to write a monthly column, Verbatim, and my first piece was published in two parts yesterday and today. It’s not as hip or trendy as the rest of the zine, but it’s snarky and sarcastic and maybe just a bit volatile. I hope you’ll stop by and check them and the web site out.

Solstice is a Finalist! But we need your help!

The last round of voting is underway over at Feminist SF – The Blog! And Solstice is among the final list of 24 books, from 104 nominated titles. Thanks to everyone to who voted!

But, to get Solstice to the final Top 10 Obscure SF Feminist Novels, we’ll need your help one more time! If you can head over to Feminist SF and vote one more time for Solstice, we might do it! The books are listed in no order, but Solstice is there on the poll. I hope you’ll help out one more time!

Thank you for your votes!

Pushing yourself

As I wrote in an earlier blog entry, I was starting the next set of revisions for Inventing Vazquez. And I was moving right along, until I got some feedback from my friend, Lisa Alvarado. We had a chance to discuss the first four chapters, and her critique really opened my eyes to something I might have lost sight of along the way: sometimes you really have to push yourself to get better at what you do.

After our chat, I went back, and started noticing all these little things she’d pointed out, and realized, holy crap, this draft really needs work! And so, I restarted my edits from scratch. And I do mean scratch.

One of the things I did was ‘sit down’ with my protagonist, Liliana, and had a nice chat about her past. It’s strange that, after two drafts and 900 pages (1800 if you count the drafts separately), I hadn’t given much thought as to why Liliana is so afraid to talk. I’d attributed her problems to self-consciousness about her mousy voice. And my girlfriend, bless her heart, had been clamoring (in her own unique way) for weeks about how Liliana needed more of a reason for her fear of talking. So Liliana and I performed a bit of historical psychoanalysis. And it turns out, she didn’t have as pleasant a childhood as I initially thought.

I took a couple of days to just map out her life’s trajectory, imagining a personal history for her that involved a three-year trauma named middle school. By the end of it, I was content that Liliana not only had the necessary vulnerabilities to round out her narrative, but that she had a new complexity of character that would benefit other characters as well (especially her obnoxious big sister).

Aside from Liliana’s character, Lisa also encouraged me to improve my descriptive writing, which relied too heavily on adjectives and adverbs. “Paint a picture for the reader,” she advised me. She’s pushing me to push myself, to work harder to make a more vivid, colorful narrative to engage and immerse the reader. And I think that's the best thing about someone taking the time to critique your work: a critique isn't about inflating egos or crushing them. It's about reminding you that there's always room for improvement, and that if you really value what you do, you'll work harder to improve what you do.

I have no doubt that Inventing Vazquez is going to be an infinitely better novel thanks to the input Lisa and my girlfriend have given. Because it’s one thing to have great ideas and transcribe them on paper (or a word processor document). But it’s another thing to have caring people make you realize that you can demand more of yourself, that you can work a little harder and improve the quality of your writing to make sure you’re writing the best book you can.

Moving forward, I’m about 10 percent into the new rewrite, and confident that the next draft will be very strong. And I’m jumping with excitement about starting the sequel, Electing Choi. I haven’t done too much work on that (aside from writing a brief intro), but I know it’ll be a project that will allow me to expand upon the Inventing Vazquez storyline while taking on another issue I think is important.

I’m not sure when I’ll start looking for an agent in earnest, but I guess I should start compiling a list.

Keeping busy on multiple fronts, as usual ^_^ While I’m still trying to be a film reviewer for Quiet Earth, it looks like I’ll also be a columnist for Urban Molecule. My first column should be up soon, and I’m already working on the next one. Having recently decided that my humorous, quasi-facetious, snarky writing is the style I’m most comfortable with, I’m running with it and having lots of fun in the process. Besides, laughter is good. And the world’s a depressing enough place without me writing about ending it, huh? ^^;

And, because I really don’t have enough to do, I’ve also joined a new band with some old friends. I’ll be playing bass again for a blues band here in Detroit, so there goes any prospect of sleeping anytime soon ^___^;

Vote for Solstice ^_^

Here’s your chance to help my little novel get on a Top 10 list! It turns out Solstice was nominated for Feminist SF’s list of Top 10 Obscure SF Feminist Novels! A poll is now open. And, because I’m encouraged to be a shameless self-promoter by all the publishing books, I’d like to ask you to go over to the Feminist SF blog and vote for Solstice!

You can check out the main contest info page here.

Why is Solstice considered a feminist SF novel? Because the lead character is Io, a Japanese-Mexican woman with a penchant for kicking butt ^_^ And her partner is Yuniko, a Japanese woman who passes her time hacking disreputable companies into the ground. And their boss is Anika, an African-American matriarch who’s as commanding as she is secretive. And the person Io after is a Lao woman named Jai Lin. So yeah, I guess you can say Solstice has its fair share of strong female characters. So much so, someone once asked me if I ever planned on writing anything featuring actual males. ^_^;

Anyway, I hope you’ll vote! I’d be much obliged!

On other fronts, today I’m officially starting the next edit/rewrite of Inventing Vazquez, but what’s got me more excited is this. I’ve decided to just go ahead and start work on its sequel, tentatively titled Electing Choi. Not only do I have a bunch of plot and subplot ideas for the sequel, but yesterday my girlfriend and I hit upon a character twist that will affect both novels. I don’t want to say what it is, but it’s a radical character change that will very positively impact one of the main characters in Inventing Vazquez. And it will create the sort of thematic subplot necessary to drive the main plot of Electing Choi. So yeah, I’m excited about it ^_^

And it that weren’t enough, I’m already contemplating a third book in the series @_@ Strange, I always thought Solstice and the Scribe vs. Editor thing would be my main franchise. Yet here I am, already thinking of a trilogy for Inventing Vazquez…

Anyway, have a great holiday weekend, everyone! Happy Fourth of July! And please remember to vote, if you think Solstice is worthy of consideration as a Top 10 Obscure Feminist SF Novel ^^;

A happy story, or an end-of-the-world story? Hmmm...

So I’m a week or so away from re-starting work on Inventing Vazquez, and beginning what I hope will be the last round of edits before launching an all-out search for a literary agent. I hope to be done within two or three months, after which I’ll start on my new writing project in earnest. What is that project? Great question…

The idea was to start work on my next post-apocalyptic novel, The Mourning Syndrome. But alas, after reading Sister Chicas and grappling with the question of where I want my writing career to go, here I am, contemplating a completely different direction. More specifically, I’m giving very serious thought to forgoing The Mourning Syndrome and starting on…the follow-up to Inventing Vazquez. Not only because I think there are more stories to be told with that group of characters, but because of the timing. See, Inventing Vazquez is a comedic satire about Latino/a representations in Hollywood. But in light of all the things I’ve seen and read and heard over the course of this electoral year, the idea surfaced: why not do a political satire next? And so, I’ve laid out some ideas on a sequel to Inventing Vazquez, which would address the issue of Latino/as and Asian-Americans within the political landscape.

Like I said, the timing might be the deciding factor here. I figure, by the time I finish writing the sequel and getting it published, it might be around the next electoral year, and so it’d be relevant.

Which leads me back to my dilemma about what I want to write. For the longest time, I envisioned myself as a sci-fi/horror writer, which explains Solstice ^_^ Sci-fi and horror are what made me want to write in the first place. But after having written Inventing Vazquez, and realizing I wanted to write more stuff like it, I’m facing the prospects of having to pick one or the other because I don’t have time to pursue both. Dang it, I need more hours in my day… Regardless, I’ll keep writing. No sense in not writing anything just because I can’t decide what to write next.

Speaking of writing, I’m about to create a new way for readers to purchase copies of Solstice directly from my publishing house. One of the things I’ve heard from numerous people is that they didn’t feel comfortable purchasing the book directly from my site because, well, it’s not exactly amazon.com ^_^ So I’m going to put my book on sale at ebay soon, to give you that added bit of consumer protection. I’m not sure yet if I’ll use my existing ebay account with the 100% positive feedback, or create a new one for the TMP name alone. Regardless, I’ll post it on this blog and on my site. What’s more, because I’m really hoping to generate more sales, I’m going to start selling Solstice at a reduced price. So if you’re contemplating buying a copy of Solstice, stay tuned, because I should have this up and running by this weekend. Why buy direct? Well, you’d get an autographed copy, free shipping, and the assurance that you’re helping out the little guy ^__^

Because I don’t already have enough things going on in my life (you know, working full-time, editing a novel, starting a new one, writing for Quiet Earth, promoting Solstice, playing/killing my drum set, getting ready to record a death metal album with my friend James, and, oh, planning on cleaning my gutters), it looks like I’m going to start writing for Urban Molecule. By the looks of it, I’ll have a monthly column on the fifth of each month, so hopefully you’ll stop by and read. I’m really excited about this, because, needless to say, I’ve never had a monthly column ^__^ What am I going to write about? Um………..yes.

Oh, one final note. I wanted to say congratulations to the five winners of the free Solstice copies in the contest I recently held. Congratulations to Amir, Robert, Oliver, Graham, and Jessica on their winning responses. Thank you for taking part in my first ever contest! Hopefully there will be another one at a later date.

Thanks for reading!

Win a free copy of Solstice!

Okay, so I finally launched my long-delayed contest. If you’d like to win one of five free autographed copies of my novel, Solstice, just visit my site! All you need to do is answer five easy questions!

Hurry! At this price (free), quantities (five) won’t last! ^_^

Feminism, Distribution, Contests, and a Book Review of Sister Chicas

Try saying that three times fast…

Anyway, this promises to be a long blog entry, so if you need a snack, now might be a good time to get one.

So what’s going on? Well, some good news: At long last, I finished my new draft of Inventing Vazquez! ^_^ And what’s the best way of making an 850 page novel better? Push it closer to 900 pages! Eep… And while it’ll still need another rewrite before its ready, I do think it’s a lot stronger. I’m hoping my two new test readers will agree. So now that I’m done with that, I’m taking the next two weeks off from working on it, to clear my mind, and get through my long list of to-do’s. And one of the first things on that list was…update my blog ^^

So something interesting materialized in the world of Solstice. A reader over on goodreads.com gave Solstice a good review, but had some very interesting things to say about the book’s feminist take. For example, she wrote: “I appreciate the rage that animates the book's central character, Itztli Okami, but the manner in which her anger is made manifest troubled me. Io's rage is born from structural violence and intense personal tragedies, but the novel introduces her rage through the trope of rape. Must a woman of color come into focus through violation?” (Quoted with permission.)

This was something I hadn’t considered during the writing process. I’ve always considered myself a feminist (part of the reason why all my main characters have, so far, been strong women), and yet, here was a reader pointing out that the book’s opening rape scene in a sense disempowers Io’s anger. I’d intended the opening to represent an inversion of the rape scenario—really, it’s Io who is out to bait and master her would-be rapists. But in expressing her rage by simply inverting the moment of violation, is Io grounded within the context of victimhood, albeit an inverted one? Is victimhood the only way I was able to define Io? It’s a troubling idea, for sure.

This is one of the things I love about writing. When someone takes the time to write a thoughtful critique of your work, and when you get the chance to discuss it with them (as I’ve been fortunate enough to do so with this reader), you really learn some things, even things you thought you already knew. In this case, I thought the book was fairly feminist, but in discussing the matter with this reader, I realized I have a ways to go. As a guy writing feminist texts, I think it’s hard for me to sometimes fully understand things from a woman’s perspective. Things that I think are empowering to a female character might not seem to an actual woman. And considering Inventing Vazquez is a first-person narration as told by a woman, I’m guessing it’s a problem that will re-appear ^^;; So I’m glad this reader took the time to spell this out, because it’s forced me, once again, to try and be a better writer and think my ideas through more carefully.

Speaking of feminism in Solstice, right on the heels of this reader’s review, I found out that Solstice was nominated by a couple of people at the Feminist SF blog for one of the top 10 obscure feminist SF novels ^_^ Wow… Well, at very least, I can say the book was nominated for something like that before it was nominated for, say, top 10 worst novels of all time. But it’s still such a thrill and very humbling to think that some people thought the book was good enough, both as a story and a feminist text, to nominate.

Okay, so what else has been going on? Well, I nearly lost my mind this past week with my distributor. Ever since my old distributor got bought out by my current distributor, it has been a nightmare. The thing is, the acquisition couldn’t have come at a worse time, because this was when the returns were scheduled to start coming in, and boy, did they start coming in -_-; So now, my old distributor was receiving the returns, and holding on to a good chunk of money that was meant to refund these returns…but my new distributor was apparently paying off these refunds themselves…and charging them directly to me. It’s taken weeks of e-mails, non-returned phone calls, and general frustration over the utter lack of communication between parties for this matter to (apparently) be resolved. And I say that hesitantly, because I assumed the matter was resolved last month when my old distributor assured me that a check had been cut to cover my outstanding balance with the new one. And, come June, I get a note that I’m 60 days past due on my $1,000+ debt, and I’m basically, WTF? So if, after all this, I get another past due notice in July, I’m just going to scream. It wouldn’t be nearly as bad if the people hounding me for this money would at least have the courtesy of calling me directly, as I’ve asked them to do. Alas, no one seems to know what a phone is anymore these days. Anyway, that’s my rant about the current distribution drama. This whole problem is one more reason why, for Inventing Vazquez, I better find an agent and forgo self-publishing.

Okay, next item: a contest! One of my to-do items for the next week is updating my web site. I want to create a small contest through my web site and Quiet Earth, so please make sure to keep an eye on both sites. What’s the contest? Not sure yet, but probably some silly quiz on frivolous things, like zombies ^^; What’s the prize? I’m going to give out five free autographed copies of Solstice! So if you’re in the market for a copy of the book, but don’t want to shell out the cash for it (which you should, by the way, cos, you know…um…it’s what Frodo would have wanted), stop by either my web site or Quiet Earth to learn more. I should have that up and running by the end of the weekend.

And finally, because this blog entry isn’t long enough, I thought I’d include a book review. ^_^ One of my main to-do’s was finishing Sister Chicas, a novel written by my friend Lisa Alvarado, Ann Hagman Cardinal, and Jane Alberdeston Coralin. Well, I finally finished it, and loved it. And I decided to write a review of it. Which may or may not be a good thing, considering how I’m still kind of learning to do reviews over at Quiet Earth. But the short of it is, if you’re looking for a good read, and a wonderfully inspired glimpse into the life of young Latinas, give Sister Chicas a look. Anyway, without further ado…

My humble review of Sister Chicas

There’s a moment early in Sister Chicas where Graciela, the oldest of three closely knit Latinas calling themselves the Sister Chicas, has just been invited to a prestigious writing retreat. Always the responsible one—the one who juggles college classes, a part-time job at a Pilsen bookstore, tutoring, and being the model daughter for her loving parents—Graciela reacts to the invite with a mixture of surprise, joy, and guilt. Mostly guilt. Because in her mind, writing is a pastime, a divertido (an enjoyment). It’s not something a hard-working Latina intent on helping her people should waste her time with.

This moment had a lot of resonance for me, as a writer and as a Latino. Partly because I think most writers, at one point or another, ponder and brood over the social relevance of their chosen profession. But mostly because Graciela’s brief crisis of faith goes to the very heart of what it means to be a writer, especially a writer of color. Like her friend Don Ramiro helps her realize, writing isn’t just an enjoyment, because writing results in books. “Books that challenge and inspire, books that stir hearts and minds,” Graciela reflects. And such it is with Sister Chicas, an inspiring and insightful novel written by Lisa Alvarado, Ann Hagman Cardinal, and Jane Alberdeston Coralin.

Sister Chicas centers around an upcoming quienceañera (the Latin-American Sweet 16, a coming of age party for girls reaching their 15th birthday). The 15-year-old-to-be is Taina, a shy Puerto Rican girl being raised by her somewhat demanding single mom. Fortunately for Taina, she has two sisters—her non-biological Sister Chicas. There’s Graciela, the aforementioned no-nonsense Chicana and unofficial mother figure of the group. And there’s Leni, the ‘middle child’ among them, a half Puerto Rican girl who parades in full punk regalia, including orange/green/burgundy colored spiked hair. The three call themselves the Sister Chicas because of their strong sister-like bond, cemented every week over a warm café con leche at a little café called El Rinconcito de Sabor.

Good thing they’re close, too. Because the mousy Taina doesn’t even want a quienceañera, and needs her sisters to confront and get through that whole coming-of-age thing. And, as it turns out, she’s not the only one needing help in facing a daunting life change. Graciela, whose tireless dedication to her community borders on self-martyrdom, has to overcome her guilt and embrace the possibility that being a good writer and being a good Chicana aren’t mutually exclusive. Leni, partially alienated from her Puerto Rican roots, faces the challenge of reconnecting with them, no small feat given her full immersion in American punk counter-culture. Add to all of this their respective struggles with finding love—or more precisely, admitting that they’ve found love with their respective others, Yusef, Jack, and Carlos—and, well, these girls certainly have their work cut out for them.

And so, the novel takes on these many challenges through three separate but interwoven first-person narratives. Taina, Graciela, and Leni take turns telling their parts of the story, and each of their voices proves appropriately distinct. Taina, the mousy 14-year-old poet, speaks with the insecurity and wonder of a girl who has yet to find her own voice, especially when it comes to contradicting her mother (which she typically doesn’t). Graciela, the 19-year-old aspiring writer, maintains a façade of big-sister control even as she struggles with her own internal conflicts, and her introspective writing reflects this. And Leni, the 17-year-old punk girl, is the most in-your-face and funniest of the three narrators, and certainly the most cynical and least forgiving, even with herself.

These three distinct but similar girls are the Sister Chicas, and their story of mutual support on their way to the quienceañera is compelling and heart-warming. Considering the collaborative nature of this novel, I think Alvarado, Cardinal, and Coralin did an amazing job of creating a cohesive narrative out of three separate perspectives. Each part of the story flows into the next seamlessly, reflecting just how strongly interwoven the lives of these three characters really are. And the affection the girls share with one another seems well-conceived, sincere, and inviting. To the point where I find myself wanting the three authors to craft a prequel and share the story of how these three girls became the Sister Chicas over weekly coffee at El Rinconcito.

The segmented nature of the narrative did expose it to one problem. Each girl faces a crisis—both a coming-of-age crisis, and a love crisis. And while Taina’s crises seem the most consistent and central to the book, some of the other crises—including Graciela and Leni’s struggles to admit their feelings regarding their significant others—seem less so. Indeed, there’s almost a sense that a few of these later crises are added in to balance things out and give each girl their requisite suffering. And if the novel had been longer and been able to dedicate more time to each, this wouldn’t have been an issue. But the tense drama surrounding many of their challenges—Taina’s confrontation with her mom, Graciela’s confrontation with her dad, and Leni’s confrontation with her own sense of cultural displacement—seem to find quick, rushed resolution. More than once, as I reached the big moment of resolution expecting a drawn-out scene, the characters reached agreement quickly, almost painlessly. To the point where you almost want to tell these girls, “See? All that worrying, and your mom/dad/culture didn’t even put up that much of a fuss!”

And then there’s the liberal sprinkling of Spanish throughout the text. Now, granted, I’m a native Spanish speaker, and so the numerous interjections of Spanish phrases and words in the middle of English sentences didn’t slow me down. But I have to imagine what reading this book would seem like to a non-Spanish speaker. I think the repeated mixing of Spanish and English can be very demanding to someone who doesn’t understand Spanish, even with the help of the glossary of terms generously provided at the end. And as such, I think it makes the book less accessible to non-Spanish speaking readers.

Which is a pity, because Sister Chicas is a book that should speak to everyone, not just Latino/as. As a slice of the Latino/a experience in the United States (or Chicago, where the book takes place), Sister Chicas doesn’t speak with the didactic authority of a text claiming a uniquely authentic cultural insight (i.e., ‘This is what we Latinas are really like!’). Rather, it speaks softly but stirringly from the heart, engaging us with its touching story about three close friends with the earnest simplicity of a casual chat over at El Rinconcito. It presents an interwoven anecdote about three separate lives converging at a critical moment, and gives us poignant glimpses along the way of things from a Latino/a perspective. And so, the novel allows moments such as this: Leni at the quienceañera, feeling as if the whole thing is one big reality TV show, “Survivor Quienceañera! Three girls, three pairs of dyed-to-match high-heeled shoes, and eight dozen gawking relatives…at the end, who will be left standing?” Clever moments like this, where mainstream imagery is re-invented from a Latino/a perspective, demonstrate how the authors have effectively navigated the treacherous path between two very different but convergent worlds.

For Latino/a readers, Sister Chicas should resonate wonderfully. Because the things and people we have experienced are present in this book in one way or another. At least, I found myself nodding and laughing throughout, recalling instances in my life that rang eerily similar to some in the book, recalling people that seemed straight out of its pages. The portrayals aren’t necessarily representative (indeed, what is representative of an entire group of people as diverse as Latinos/as?), but they are real, and they speak to the vastness and diversity of our shared experience. And so, we meet versions of Latino/as that we haven’t seen too much elsewhere: the timid poet; the aspiring writer; the spiky-haired punk; the rock guitarist.

Which brings me back to Graciela’s insight about books being challenging, inspiring, stirring both hearts and minds. Sister Chicas may not be perfect (what book is?), but it is a wonderful, and necessary, addition to the literary canon, and certainly required reading for any children I might some day have. Because it paints an inspired portrait of the Latino/a experience without being preachy about it. It portrays our strengths, our struggles, and our flaws. And it answers its own questions about the validity of writing, not just as a divertido, but as an inspiration. Because we all have stories to tell, even if we’re not all writers. And it’s time we started telling them.

The best advice? Be kind to yourself…

It’s funny. Yesterday, I started a blog entry before I finally stopped and decided, “today’s not a good day to blog.” Mostly because yesterday was one of those days. We all have them. One of those days when you feel overwhelmed by everything that’s going on in your hectic life, by everything that still needs to get done, and by the feeling that the things you’re working on (e.g., a 900-page novel ^^;) are never going to get done. So yeah, I’m glad I didn’t finish that long rant of a blog entry.

This morning I just found myself feeling much more grateful about things. I mean, yesterday, I was stressing about the fact that my distributor was receiving a steady trickle of returns for Solstice. Today, I realized, “hey, we accomplished quite a bit, all things considered.” I thought about all the people at work who bought copies, not because they were avid sci-fi readers, but because they wanted to show their support. I thought about the folks like Lisa Alvarado and James Rundle over at SciFiNow magazine who took the time to read and review the book, even though they had absolutely no obligation of doing so. And I thought about all the things that have happened as a result of publishing the novel: like becoming a regular contributor for and part of something as cool as Quiet Earth, being mentioned in my alma mater’s quarterly magazine (SUNY at Buffalo, in case you were wondering), and getting back in touch with my great friend Jim from college, who tracked me down through my web site ^_^ All in all, today I realized this whole experience has been a blessing, and so I shouldn’t ever feel like it’s overwhelming or in any way, shape, or form, bad.

But I guess I also thought of a little something someone said at grad school orientation. I don’t remember his name, unfortunately, but a grad student gave us incoming students this one piece of advice to get us through our careers: be kind to yourself. He said that the best way to cope with the stress of grad school was to always be kind to yourself. It’s something I’ve both embraced, and forgotten, as the years went by. But it really is true; you have to be kind to yourself.

You have to treat yourself well. You have to indulge yourself every now and then. You have to forgive yourself if you miss a deadline. You have to refrain from beating yourself up if you can’t seem to get through that ever-growing to-do list. You have to allow yourself to take a night off every now and then, even if it means falling a bit behind on something. You have to allow yourself to just sit back and relax without feeling like you’re being an unproductive slob. You have to accept that some things will require more time and extra work, and it’s not because you suck at what you do. You get the idea.

I had to remind myself of that whole ‘be kind to yourself’ thing as I continued to work through the rewrite of my new novel, Inventing Vazquez. There were a couple of instances these past few months where I felt overwhelmed by the enormity of the endeavor. There were two instances in which I genuinely felt like I was never going to finish the book. And when I made artificial deadlines for myself (i.e., “I have to have the rewrite done by mid-May”), it just compounded the sense of despair.

But what did that grad student say? Be kind to yourself. And so, I reminded myself that, hey, it’s better to take the time to make the rewrite as good as it can be, than to rush through it for the sake of meeting a self-imposed deadline and writing crap. And hey, why am I beating myself up? The novel is turning out a lot stronger because of the time I’m taking to rewrite it, so I’m doing something right! And, hey, the sooner I start being kind to myself, the sooner I’ll stop having conversations with myself!

I think writers, especially young and aspiring writers, have to be especially kind to themselves. Writing is such a labor of love, and it requires so much perseverance and discipline. But above all, it requires acceptance that not everything you write will be good, especially the first time around. I know people who get discouraged because they start their novels, get a few pages in, hate what they wrote, and decide they’re no good. But that’s the point where you need to be kindest to yourself. That’s when you should say to yourself, “you know what? This is a first draft, so it’s okay if it’s crap, I’ll fix it later,” and then just keep plugging away.

Wow, this is a really preachy blog entry! @_@

Anyway, I’m really happy with how the rewrite of Inventing Vazquez is going. The new draft is a lot funnier, I think, and the character development for some of its major characters is a lot stronger. I’m about 50 pages away from completing the draft, although I still need to go back and change one of the earlier chapters. Oh, and…um…rewrite…the…sex scene. Ahem. But regardless, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. And I’m really looking forward to getting a couple of new test readers for it, too. Including my crazy girlfriend, whose input and feedback is always so amazingly helpful and insightful. The gods know she really helped Solstice become what it eventually became.

Anyway, I’m babbling. Just wanted to say ‘thank you’ again to everyone who read Solstice! And remember to get your father a copy of Solstice for Father’s Day. Because nothing says “Dad, you’re the best!” better than a book about the end of the world! ^^;

Chicago, Cloverfield…and Carrots

Sorry, trying to go for some alliteration there…

So it’s an exciting weekend coming up. My girlfriend and I are going to Chicago for many fun reasons. We’re primarily going to see Margaret Cho at the State Theater. We’re both huge fans of her. Not to mention, one of the main characters in Inventing Vazquez is inspired by her ^^; So we’re both really excited about that.

Another big part of this trip is research. Yep, since Inventing Vazquez takes place in Chicago, we’re going to be doing some onsite research to figure some of the book’s details. We’ll be looking at neighborhoods, for example, where some of the characters live, and we’ll be going to the Navy Pier to map out the novel’s big chase scene. Yes, a chase scene ^_^; Really looking forward to going to the Pilsen neighborhood, too, and seeing the National Museum of Mexican Art.

But perhaps best of all, we’ll be meeting Lisa Alvarado, author of Sister Chicas and regular contributor to La Bloga. You might remember that she wrote a wonderful review of Solstice a while back. Well, I wanted to meet up with her to thank her for her review, and just touch base with a fellow Latina writer. So I’m really looking forward to that…and getting her to sign my copy of Sister Chicas ^_^;

So what else is up? Inventing Vazquez is coming along. I now have less than 150 pages to go before the next draft is done, and I’m pleased with the results so far. The rewrite is definitely funnier this time around, as well as more profane. Ugh, that’s one thing about this novel: it will NOT be for anyone who can’t stand profanity or vulgarity. Maybe it’s a bit too profane thanks to the antics of this one character, but time will tell whether that’s a detriment or not. I figure I’ll start looking for an agent by the end of May, but we’ll see, I guess.

So what else is going on? Nothing much. Cloverfield finally came out on DVD yesterday, and of course, I had to buy a copy. How do I feel about that movie? Pretty much the same way I felt when I reviewed it for Quiet Earth ^_^; Loved it, and it’s probably my favorite monster movie of all time. It won’t be for everyone, obviously, but I think there’s just something so H.P. Lovecraft about the way the film hides the monster from view throughout most of the film. And I think the film’s portrayal of the military struggle against it is the grittiest I’ve ever seen. There’s no dramatic score to augment the tension, no heroic guns-blazing charge by some super-soldier, no cheesy model planes and tanks taking pot shots at the creature. The military struggle is scattered, desperate, and appropriately futile.

So that’s what’s going on right now. Chicago. Inventing Vazquez. Cloverfield. And, hopefully, new laminate hardwood flooring for my study soon, because I ripped out the carpet only to find that the existing hardwoods were in crappy condition. ^_^;

And, oh, remember to buy Solstice. It’s what Frodo would have wanted…

Thoughts on Solstice…and a first bad review!

So for a while, it was looking like I wasn’t going to have distribution for Solstice anymore. Ever since Bookmasters bought out Biblio, the transition to the new distributor has been anything but seamless. Most troubling of all was an invoice issue that involved some returns from Borders. The new distributor wanted to charge me directly for the returns, even though Biblio maintained a reserve fund specifically for that purpose. Anyway, after talking to the main account person this morning, the issue was resolved, so now things are cool. I hope they stay that way. I was dreading having to handle all distribution and fulfillment by myself.

Still, it was an encouraging phone call this morning. The account person from Biblio remarked on how strong our sales of Solstice were. And, more importantly, how few returns we actually had. I could tell from his tone of voice that he genuinely believed the novel did very well. So much so he asked if there were other projects on the horizon. Alas, there are none; I’m thinking at this point that I will go agent-or-bust with the next novel, so maybe Solstice will end up being my only self-published venture.

Still, his comments re-affirmed my belief that the book was, by all accounts, a small success. More than 1,400 copies sold in less than six months, five premier reviews, two book signings, one book expo, and two interviews. ^_^ Not too shabby for a publishing project as poorly funded as this one was ^^; I got lucky, I suppose. And luckier still that I have such supportive family and friends.

Speaking of reviews, Solstice got another one! Only this one was…well…not so positive. ^_^; A new online publication, Speakerphone Magazine, gave the book a bad review. Not just bad; outright nasty. Which makes it really difficult to understand and process their critique since it was more destructive than constructive. I mean, anytime you’re talking about how it’s a fast read because you want to get past it and go on to something good, well…that’s not exactly the most constructive, or professional, thing you can say as a reviewer.

I don’t know. As a reviewer for Quiet Earth now, I try to abide by a couple of basic rules that I used throughout my teaching years. Rule number 1: Always have something positive to say. Even if the thing you’re reviewing is the worst thing you’ve ever seen, have at least one positive thing to say. Because even the worst things will have at least one good thing going for it, something the author/director/student can build upon for future works. And because it shows a basic sense of respect for the person you’re critiquing. Rule number 2: Always back up your claims. If you’re going to argue that something doesn’t make sense or something simply doesn’t work, explain and demonstrate why. Don’t just say, “this sucks” and leave it to the reader to guess why.

I think that’s what bugs me the most about this review. I know Solstice wasn’t going to be for everyone. And like anything else, some people are going to love the book, and others are going to hate it. That’s the way it is with any creative work, and no serious writer is foolish enough to expect everyone is going to adore their work. But this review, well, their main issue was that the storyline was predictable and the same old end-of-the-world stuff. Well, um…yeah! ^_^ That’s why it’s listed on Amazon and Barnes and Noble and libraries and everywhere else as apocalyptic fiction ^^; Their next big gripe was my use of metaphors, which they say didn’t complement the ‘choppy’ writing style. Apparently, my bad use of metaphors only served to make the book sound pretentious and smarter than it actually was ^_^; Well, what would have been nice is if the reviewer had bothered throwing in an example or two to demonstrate this. If nothing else, it would certainly help me see what they meant, and work on improving that problem for subsequent works. But alas, there are no examples, just a vague blanket statement about bad metaphors. Which were apparently bad enough to scuttle the entire book ^_^

I guess you can say they said something positive about the book: that it wasn’t the worst book ever written! So I got that going for me at least, which is nice ^_^;

Well, enough venting. It was just kind of odd to see people being so nasty and trashing the book without giving any real or constructive insight as to how they thought it could have been better.

Anyway, I’m happy to report that the rewrite of Inventing Vazquez is now more than halfway done. Which means I should have the draft ready by the middle or end of May. I have to admit, I am really enjoying writing this novel far more than Solstice, because it’s so much fun to write comedy. What this means in terms of my long-term writing career I still don’t know, but I think I did hit upon one thing at least. I seem to have a better time writing in the first person. I think it makes the characters seem more real, more introspective, and a lot easier to get to know.

Finding an agent will be a challenge. More so, probably, because Solstice was sci-fi, and this is going to be comedy. I hope I haven’t dug too deep a hole for myself ^^; But hey, that’s not going to stop me!

Anyway, remember to pick up your copy of Solstice for the kids ^^; Solstice is…um…a bright…breath of fresh air…in the…sordid silence…of swamphood!